a prayer

i left a letter.

i gave in for my last indulgence.

i have to forget.

because now i realized that i

want nothing to do with you.

fooled myself with such illusions.

ahh. Lord. forgive me for my sins.

i have wasted time for an unworthy cause.

But now i know better.

Please guide me throughout the way.

Enlighten me always.

Thank you.

exams

results of wed exam: i passed 50% of my 116 4th LE. gosh, how i wish i'll pass the other 50%. though i fnished it, i knew i made a lot of mistakes there. sure ones! haha.

13th in class for the 50%; last one on the list with names on it. so happy!

had 105 final exam today. so totally unexpected. a different type of exam which caught me offguard. damn. wish i'll get at least a 2.0 on it.

went to SM with kat after exam. bought 2 phones for my 2 sisters - low cost nokia fones with bluetooth, cam, music. think they'll love it anyway. they get better phones than i do.=)

darn promises

i won't won't dare make any promises again.
they really are meant to be broken, especially if they pertain to you.

darn i'm so packed with activities and projects these days.
i really should focus on them.

sweet november

and yes, i still like you.

and i miss you.

and i want to be happy, happy, happy.

coz darling there's no sense being miserable.

oh sweet november.

the romance, the pleasure

i'm missing.

CARNIVALE!

CARNIVALE!

Magic, Acrobats, Streetdance!

Warehouse 135, Yakal St., Makati

September 7, 2007 8-11pm

Party with DJs afterwards!

Tickets @ 250php.Contact: Nikki. 09177374309.

CARNIVALE

an exhibition party that will leaveyou breathless
Marvel at unbelievable magicperformances

Mesmerize at amazing acrobatic stunts

Move to the beat of the latest grooves

WANA JOIN THE STREETDANCE COMPETITION?

10K worth of cash & prizes for the first placer!

Contact me for details!

CARNIVALE! magic, acrobats, streetdance, DJs!

CARNIVALE!

Magic, Acrobats, Streetdance!

Warehouse 135, Yakal St., Makati

September 7, 2007 8-11pm

Party with DJs afterwards!

Tickets @ 250php.Contact: Nikki. 09177374309.

CARNIVALE

an exhibition party that will leaveyou breathless
Marvel at unbelievable magicperformances

Mesmerize at amazing acrobatic stunts

Move to the beat of the latest grooves

WANA JOIN THE STREETDANCE COMPETITION?

10K worth of cash & prizes for the first placer!

Contact me for details!

a story of a little girl

There were two children who met at the church- a little boy and a little girl. They started playing around and was running after each other.

At one instance, probably the last game they had, the little girl was the one running after the boy. She's probably it. And then, the little boy went back to his parents and was busy with another activity again, forgetting about the game and the little girl.

The girl kept waiting. When she realized that her playmate wouldn't join her again, she just smiled sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed that she had been waiting for nothing. Then she went back to her parents, probably wishing nobody saw what happened.

My relationship with you darling, has been like that. Thing is, seems like i've always been it. Looks like it's not a fair game. But it was my fault, wasn't it? You expressed your resignment. I should have accepted it. I should have stopped...waiting.

Progress

was it a year ago? a few days before your brthday that i said goodbye?

it's nearly a year past..and i'm still stuck with the goodbyes.

it's been a year yes. and i haven't kept my word. i tried darling. i did.

yesterday i made a bet with my sister, just so that now i have to keep my promise. i should have nothing to do with you starting that day- yesterday, july 22, 2007, a sunday.

i made an improvement darling! you should be proud of me. i managed to delete your number and your folder of messages in my mobile phone. so now you're off in my phone. Next will be the YM messages, which will really take some time since darling, your folder in my message archive contains a year-worth of messages. i have to take care of it some other time. but i deleted you off my YM list already.

just so you would understand (not that you care anyway), I'm not doing this to spite you. I'm doing this for me and for both of us. You don't like me bothering you all the time. So i have to do something. I deleted you off my phone and my YM list so that I won't see your name on them, and so I will not be tempted to bother you.

and you're not online (or just invisble) these days anyway. hiding from me? no need darling. cause i'll resist every urge to contact you - with the bet and my resolution, I intend to keep my word.

promises are said to be meant to be broken. i did it a lot of times. now God, please help me keep my promise. I'm hurting now but it's better than to prolong the agony, the illusion.

Forwarded Messages:

12/30/2006 2:34:46pm: Arcadio

Math tells us the three saddest love stories:

The tangents who met once but parted forever.
The parallel lines who never really met, and never will.
And the asymptotes who are getting closer and closer but were not meant together.

1/17/2007 9:51:41pm: Jane

Kung meron ang math, meron din ang physics.

Physics demonstrates the three biggest ironies of love:

1. There are those with forces of attraction so great, but will never be together because a stronger force separates them.
2. There are those in uniform circular motion: infinite attraction, no interaction.
3. And there are those so similar, like two magnets with similar poles, the closer they get, the stronger the repelling force.

1/9/2007 8:33:39 pm: Ash

Para sa mga bitter:

“Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. Just so he can see and feel how much love hurts…advance happy valentines!”

1/1/2007 11:55:36pm: Jane

“Love someone whom you don’t have to be fancy or talk in a special way, you don’t have to mind your manners or wear your best clothes and shoes, you don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re feeling sad..Love someone you can cry on, you can laugh out loud with, you can speak your mind or say nothing at all, you don’t have to try hard to impress him/her..Go with someone whom you can just be you and appreciates you for that..”

[meaning I don’t have to, but want to is okay?]

11/28/2006 10:38:04pm: Jane

People say they love flowers,
Yet they pluck them.

They say they love trees,
But still cut them.

Now I know why some are afraid
When told that they are loved…

4/2/2007 11:32:12pm: Jane

In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is having someone who can look at you straight in the eyes, and tell you he/she loves you; someone worth every risk of pain, someone who’ll stay, someone who will simply make a difference.

12/28/2006 9:57:07am: Ash

The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born…until you fall in love.

12/17/2006 10:02:56pm: Arcadio

We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.- Anais Nin

11/18/2006 10:56:06pm: Jane

“2 letters”

Dear Diary,

I saw him passing my way. I didn’t know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he’s the star of the basketball team; he’ll never notice a geek like me.

Dear Diary,

I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I’m just a guy who could shoot some hoops, while she’s the pretty honor student. She’ll never like a guy like me.

7/22/2007 10:29:04pm: Jane

“The worst pain in life is when someone you know turns into someone you knew.”

1/20/2007 10:51:06 am: Minnette

Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line:

“Miss, lam mo ba..Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop..At hindi tayo halaman..BAGAY tayo! BAGAY!”

1/7/2007 8:49:31pm: Raisa

Quotes from the world’s greatest warriors:

I came. I saw. I conquered.- Julius Caesar
I shall return.- Douglas McArthur
I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initaym. – Pacman

7/23/2007 1:27:30pm: Rose Ann

It’s nice to recall our mistakes in the past
Joke about real life punch lines
And laugh about our dumb old selves
Cause remembering how stupid we were
Makes us realize
How less stupid we are now.

ba 143

and i still can't help myself...

haha. forget you darling?

i saw my old crush in school. he was a classmate way back in first year. he suddenly looked so attractive to me. haha. i mean, of course he was quite good-looking then, but now! my gosh, sex appeal!

he was looking at me. i think he recognized me. but then i was in a sort of a hurry, i looked so frazzled and i remembered that i forgot to put on some perfume (not that i smell bad), so i was so embarrassed that i just rushed past him and pretended to be busy. i couldn't even look and smile at him.

but next time, if ever we're gonna meet again, i'll take my chance - look, smile, and say hello. if he recognizes me, then we'll probably talk. if not, then who's gonna use a pick-up line darling? haha.

but i still miss you.

reality

i did something stupid. and ugly. and embarassing. and i hate it.

but i did something else which is wonderful and fulfilling.

i did everything darling. i did everything i can even if there's nothing to save in the first place.

i suppose i should be happy now. that i was given the opportunity to do everything. i took the risk, see? even if it didn't turned out what i hoped for...what happened was different.

i didn't expect something incredible to happen, though i hoped for it. what happened was nice enough for me to wish for a second time around.

i was always giving and expecting nothing in return. but i wished and hoped, and i prayed, that someday you will do something for me. but darling, throughout the years, you never even bothered to give me something. sometimes you were there when i asked you to. but that's always it - i ask for it, and sometimes you give in. it's like you're forced to do it. it's like you do it in return for whatever you received from me. that's what i feel. that's what i think you feel about it.

and you don't even know my birthday. i appreciate everything you did for me; but sometimes the yearnings of a romantic shows itself - the roses & chocolates, the sweet nothings, the spark, the magic, and the feeling that you love and are loved in return.

and it's obvious in your part that there is nothing to believe in. i should quit fooling myself that the things you do for me are special. cause i think they are ordinary things you do to your friends. i can't stop thinking how i managed to be in a delusion for such a long time when i'm hurting all the time.

it's over. it should be.

cause you are real darling; and i should stick to reality.

sudden realization

now i know why i'm always tensed and nervous when we meet.

'cause darling, for such a long time, we communicated thru phone/PC. we got to know each other using these means of communication. in the absence of personal interaction, i somehow managed to conjure up illusions of you. the sole basis of course were the conversations we had, and the few times we met.

and then, i didn't know how to react - when someone i believed so far away is suddenly infront of me. how can i face my illusions? i imagined a person out of you. i made a dream person out of our conversations.

the premise for our conversations i believed at first, is that i can easily open up to you because we are never going to meet. see? as much as i want to meet you again and again, there is a lot of difference in talking with a person thru phone/PC compared to being with you personally.

i cannot imagine that someone i dreamed for so long, someone i illusioned, someone i made up out of my own wishful thinking, will face me. i can't stand the fact that someone i opened up to -my feelings, my secrets, my thoughts - will face me one day.

and the embarrassment! how am i supposed to confront you?

my dreams, my fears, my illusions - they have to fade away. somehow i managed to hold on to them for such a long time and disconnecting myself to them is like giving up a big part of me.

but it's time for me to move on. move on to reality. you cannot remain in my thoughts as is.

you are real.

i waited & waited, and then u left

maybe you're wondering why i wanted to go out again...

haha darling, the reason is not exactly because i want to see you again. main reason is that i want to redeem myself.

you're not giving me any opportunity to make up for that night. i wanted to show you the best side of me. it's so embarrassing for me that everytime we meet or see each other, i'm always in the worst form possible - my appearance, mood, what i'm doing at that particular moment, etc.

i don't know if men can understand this sort of feeling - the frustration to be able to impress yourself on the person you want so much, but end up rather disgusted with yourself.

this is a very embarrassing, and stupid situation.

i don't think you're wondering why i kept asking you if you were free last weekend. you're smart enough to guess that i wanted to go out again. i waited, and waited, and then you left. i wanted to makeup for that night.

but then again, sensing that you don't want to, i have to back down.

aggressiveness will lead to nowhere. you know me well i think. you can take hints.

but i'm confused by your actions. i don't know what to expect or what to do.

nothing i suppose.

please.

"Do not tell him you want a commitment, he will run, repeat, he will run faster than you can blink. "
-from somewhere in yahoo

pathetically speaking i'm ok

i'm sorry...(why am i forever saying sorry?)

if ever that's the last time we're gonna meet, i really do regret it. i always dreamt that we'll have fun and laugh, and wish that the night will never end.

but how come when i face you i can't be myself? why do i feel so tensed and nervous?..to tell the truth, it's much easier (and we have better conversations at that) actually to talk to you thru chat or text rather than personally. even the sound of your voice makes me so nervous, and it makes me act so differently than i want to.

maybe because we should try spending more time together rather than just through whatever means of communication that is/are convenient to us.

that is, if you want to.

it takes effort and time to make it. but obviously you don't seem to exert effort and give time, i suppose there really is nothing in there. plus, you got all the entertainment you need from the people surrounding you.

you don't need me. you don't want me. and i hate it.

pathetic.

100th post

yeah.. and when I see my first few posts, I learned that I haven't learned anything..I am not moving on. still stuck in the same old place - hurt & disgusted with myself.

more than a year already..stuck. agh.

little by little i'll move away, and by doing so will make me get over things i should have left years ago.

PLDT outreach with ANP

Outreach Program

May 2007

PLDT student campers with ANP(red)

PLDT revalida: PWEDE!

standing, L-R: Irene, Abi, David, Gene

sitting, L-R: Justine, Paul, Nikki

virac

and then i went home for the weekend to attend a wedding.

and yes, i played a lot. literally..played with my sisters.

and i wanna be home all the time. =)

greenbelt

National Sports GRill, Greenbelt
PLDT Summer Camp's 1st Kamustahan
April 20, 2007 (Friday)
-nice!-

makati

Ayala ave, Makati City

end of April 2007

taken while walking to the bus stop.

love as..

Love as insecurity, is not a very bad thing I suppose. Insecurity arises when one loves and there is a need to be loved in return. There is the expectation for the love to be reciprocated. Insecurity is shown as we are not comfortable with ourselves alone. We need others to appreciate us and to help us develop ourselves. Perhaps it can be expressed most as follows: “we love best those who need us most” (Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery). There is a sense of martyrdom or of a need to be hero – to be praised and appreciated by other people. Hence, the image of damsel in distress and knight in shining armor comes to mind. However, love as I’m speaking of, is not limited to romantic love alone, but to love of all kinds; a personal definition of love notwithstanding.

I am not saying this is a bad thing. It is actually human nature. And if the Creator/Divine Providence made us this way, maybe there is a good reason for that.

Living alone and not needing anybody is as lonely as could be. There is a purpose for us to be created as insecure and as needy for love as possible. It is to create brotherhood and enjoy life and the blessings of the Divine Providence all the more.

Perhaps love is at its best when there is mutual benefit and happiness.

Love in moderation is good. Excessive love might result to infatuation or obsession. I think it is safe to relate love to infatuation or obsession as we are not even sure exactly what love means.

-December 18, 2006 (Monday)

moody..

i'm getting a little cranky already. maybe because i haven't had a proper vacation yet since the christmas break. from all the acad work, org, intern, and other extra-curricular activities, i am already tired from rushing everything.

with just the weekend to relax--oh no! not relax! with all the org activities and laundry i have to do, and some catching up with friends and colleagues, i can't can't relax! work on weekdays and still i want to do something else..enroll in a dance class or something..something to develop a skill or discover a talent...

my sister's kidding me that i'm always trying to be a superwoman when i'm not and cannot be. Why do i always feel the need to do something or do a lot at the same time? why do i feel the need to try everything at the same time? Is time really running out? that i have to make the most of it? to no longer sleep if it's just not necessary..

tired darling. worn out. i just want to go out, relax, and have fun. don't get me wrong, i have fun working. it's just that, i think my physical aspect can no longer keep up with my determination.

i want out. i want a breather.

april madness

aside from having the first few days of april busy for some final exams & projects plus company interviews, i also had a lot if extra-curricular activities in mind.

rushing through exams and company interviews, i finally maanged to finish all the requirements and transfer all my stuff from my dorm to our house in san juan. then i have to do some FP requirements (i'm the VC for logistics for Financial Project this coming semester), American Chamber Seminar & Business Plan Competition, and then my internship with PLDT all in the same week (April 9-15, 2007). Then there's the screening for Stratmark/PANA team. There's also the plan sem for the org. The whole week, I went home just to take a bath and change clothes. I hadn't had the time to eat regularly and I was rushing from san juan to makati, to boni, to UP, and all around. I was pretty tired that week. I know I wasn't going to make it all. Some would be sacrificed for others. And i have to prioritized which matters most to me.

the results? my team won the amcham business plan competition & we got a pink glass trophy for that, and i didn't make it on the stratmark/pana screening. ironic isn' it? they're both marketing competitions..oh well. i guess i settled for the short-term goal.

I took a day off from work just to be able to make my presentation for the screening. but it was bad. i wasnt feeling good. and from the very start, i knew it would be terrible. but i want to try. i had to even though i knew it was going to be bad. Because i was still hoping..that even if my instincts are telling me it's not for me, I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and save me from destiny. I wanted to prove it wrong. That i'll be able to make it and that I make my own destiny. But no, there really are some things I can't do or change.

oh well, gotta accept fate.

after i took the PLDT contract, there are different companies calling me up everyday offerring better compansation & better work. but i could no longer back out. it's done. if i did, it would be much worse for me.

oh yeah, there's also the Philip Morris Choose your own adventure..i had the interview that friday. i know i'm not going to make it. it was bad. though i'm still hoping.

went to antipolo on sunday for the org's plan sem. tired. wasn't able to get anything from it. and i still got work the next day.

gotta rest rest rest.

oh baby i love your way

somehow i think it will be over soon.
a new found love will be gone soon.

love, nik, i was surprised
you consider it love when all you had was a friend

no matter what, I have to keep it to myself.
an agony, my gosh.

Last sem pic!

BA 161 (1st sem 06-07)

We look so young! haha

L-R: Carlo, Ash, Wow, Lorie, Cy, Mayeen

Seated: Nikki, Rhoma, Karolyn

system launch

BA 186: System Launch
Team Powercrew created C-IT (Cinema Information Technology) for Flick, Inc.

Me & Ash

-We don't look so stressed, do we?- =)

powercrew!

system launch!

formal dinner

Formal dinner

March 16, 2007, friday

8 pm.

Garden, Ilang ilang Residence Hall, UP Diliman

-with my roommate Reigna (left)-

=)

USC campaign assembly

7.30-10pm, dorm lobby - pretty fun!

now my annoyance is gone! had fun fun fun watching the candidates talk, act, sing, and dance! the Q&A portion is the most important part. though they weren't concerned mainly of serious topics regarding the university and their GPOAs, it is still interesting to note how they would act in certain situations that caught them off-guard.

the Q&A portion gave no preparation time, it was impromptu. but it was nice. but then, there were some confusing people...confusing candidates evidenced by contradictory statements..(trapo in the making?) i hope not.

the parties were asked regarding their stand for TOFI (tuition and other fee increase) if the majority of the student are pro-TOFI.

a STANDUP candidate said that they will still push for ANTI-TOFI because they believe that it is the correct thing to do even if the majority of the students are for it. then sometime later, the chairperson (Shan) candidate was asked that if ever she's the only one from her party to win and the rest are from other parties, will she push through with her stand & GPOAs? she said that she will do whatever it is for the students even if against her party's will/principles.

SEE? there is INCONSISTENCY! my golly. wer does her loyalty lie? to the students or to her party? maybe that is the question to all the candidates of her party. are they representative of the students or are they an independent body of their own separate from the rest of the students? your basic principles and ethic codes are not certain.

am i the only one confused or did i miss something? no i don't think so.

there is something fishy in there...and gosh darlings, you got a very big hole to cover.

oh yeah, go AISA KING for USC COUNCILOR!

petty annoyances

i was actually a bit irritated in class today..i don't know if it showed. i did everything i can for that project..maybe i really don't deserve that award....i really don't want that award. i just want them to appreciate what i've done and sacrificed for that darn project. there! at least i got a bad word out.

1. I contacted the foundation and set the appointment. i made the arrnagements, etc.
2. I emailed, texted everybody in the group & the foundation for all the activities, meetings, etc.
3. I made sure everybody knows what he/she will be doing.
4. I had to list all the things necessary for the event, and assigned them.
5. I got the van and picked up everybody, bought the utensils, drinks, materials, etc.

oh yeah, if maybe i didn't fuss too much it's because i saw no need for that. if that award if for the amount of fussing, then yes, i am no winner. but i did them without fussing.

i listed all what I did. maybe they did more, though i can't think of any anyway. Plus the stupid reports and homeworks? I didn't fuss for them because they weren't that important and can be carried on with ease.

ah with all the hearthaches darling.

i am so overwhelmed with irritation for childishness. irritation or annoyance, and not hate. u hate if you loved first. i didn't.

new

i'm feeling like a teenager all over again...

there's the drive to explore new things, and the lack of commitment in most matters.. There's the determination of searching out what other things the world can offer me..It's not irresponsibility and childishness..It is exploration and a way of shaping who i am..It is a way fo developing a person..I've never had a passion for anything, even when i was a kid. But now i can feel it..something in me that craves for something new and exciting. Something that i haven't experienced before. and the changes happening now aren't that surprising for some people. But for me, they are new and i intend to enjoy every moment of it.

I'm trying to learn how to relax and quit being anxious.

Live for today, live for the present, live for the people nik...carpe diem!

As a poem says, In the end all it is to be asked of a dead person is whether he had passion.

i think passion should be coupled with optimism...and i have to learn them both as soon as possible.

varied.

accounting exam tomorrow afternoon..oh yes, nice nice nice.

how i wish i'l pass..that we'll all pass. such an interesting discussion with ma'am acuna this afternoon..

no i dont have anything specific to discuss in this entry...actually, im thinking about the people living in the GK site i went to last year.. so Stepford..creepy, freaky, darling..they're staring into nothing..they greet you then they're dead. hopeless people..they're dying subconciously...they're like bodies without souls..empty shells. my god. it is horrible. i think it is worse than death..wish they'll live..live & breathe again.

i don't know how visitors there can stand it. they're like zombies waiting to die again, if it's possible anyway.

but there, dead breathing people. i hope they snap out of it..live live live!

valentines.

feb13 8 pm- mama was asking me if i'll be going out on valentine's day. my gosh, i dont even have a date!

hahay. but my blockmates keep me busy! hahaha! all the block gimmicks my gosh. lunch, dinner, party...oh well, keeps me smiling all day.

love love love it!

feb 14 - studyinga accounting..studying at main lib for the first time! though 3 hours only. hehe.

gosh darling, why can't you see me now? this is the day of flowers & chocolates..they're everywhere..but my darling, where are you?

hope.

i'm hoping, hoping, hoping darling..that's everything's going to be all right.

and why do i feel so sick and nervous all of a sudden? i don't know...maybe the stress, tension, and cold weather all combined together. or maybe it's just i'm thinking of you all over again.

with all the schoolwork, i can hardly breathe and live my happy life. it's becoming monotonously boring, and the results aren't that good. i want my old efficient life. i want my happy old self.

it's getting so busy nowadays. i want to a take a breather, a break from this mess. yes, a mess darling, and i have to fix it up sooner or later.

love is so evasive. happiness is where you want it. i am confused darling. i want a break.

ultimatum

I’m setting a target. By the end of March, I should be done with it already. I should know the results by then, & I should be able to move on.

This is a very stagnant phase. On this aspect of my life, I have been like this for a few years already. It is bad, very bad indeed. I thought time will make me get over it.

Now I’m setting an ultimatum for myself. I will try to do all I can. I blew up all the few chances I had before. I just need one more opportunity. But if all else fails, then so be it.

It’s either level up or the end. The End, will mean I have to move on – in another direction.

-I will be wearing a white dress with ruffles and a pink ribbon. I hope our attires will complement each other. I hope we will enjoy that night. I hope to see you soon.-
wishing.hoping.but in the end, i want to move on.

New Year's Resolution

Or should I say Resolutions?

1. Hmm..I'm thinkin of becoming more prim & proper. People mistake me for a high school kid, like a 14 yr old or somthing. Though it can be amusing and a compliment sometimes, it's more often an insult. haha. I take it as an insult. Don't I look like a lady? So i have to be more proper, eh? Let me work on it, though I don't intend to give up the fun of being a kid. =P

2. Be Less Stressed; Be More HAPPY!

3. SMILE darlin'!

Three is one of my favorite numbers. 3 Christmas Wishes, 3 New Year's Resolutions. Haha! =)

Christmas Wishes

So I wrote Santa a letter, just to compete with my sisters. Haha.

1. DigiCam- Mama gave me our old Kodak digicam but it wouldn't work na. It's old and it's not functioning well even before.

Result: Auntie Chit gave me her old digicam. It's not that old. It looks ok. but i managed to do something on it and it wouldn't work. Something about buffer memery that i couldn't figure our from the manual. Shutter won't work. Nikon digicam. Haay.

2. A boyfriend- Hmm. I think I've been wishing for this for three years running already. And my sisters are always asking me how Santa's going to bring the guy. Haha. Anyway, I haven't received it yet.

Result: Santa left a book on how to find your one true love by Bo Sanchez. Wow, it's improving! Think i'm getting nicer each year. No results for the first two Christmases, and I got one this year! Though a bit far-off. I want the real thing. Hahahahahaha!

3. World Peace - As usual, you have to wish this thing. You're a bad bad person if you don't.

Result: None yet. Gloomy weather still, damaged infrustructures not yet repaired.
But family's great! Thank God for it!

Actually, I think Santa delivered my Christmas Present last last Christmas (2005) on Christmas Day (25th). I think I managed to reject it though I didn't intend to. Bad bad. Will you bring him back, Santa? =)

Way Home

slept during the bus ride so i wasn't able to see the damage in Albay by typhoon durian/reming.

tabaco & catanduanes though both looked BROWN & GREY. So much for typhoon damage. gloomy weather.

Home & San Roque not damaged; just the landscaping a bit. Sea Breeze yeah.

i love block A.

" i love block A."

i will really miss them. i've never been so attached in my whole life. i never thought that i will ever be. i never thought i'd be capable of being this happy, of loving & caring for these people.

these people changed my life. even if everything seems so down, i still feel happy because of them.

i learned to enjoy life.

Block Party

dec 12, tue - got ready for the block party after class. at a little past 7pm - met at BA steps. with blockmates. Commute to PEts' place at Tandang Sora. whew! 8-9pm. jeep to Philcoa, and it was weird at philcoa - people all over the streets, and no taxi. so tricycle to McDo somwer then taxi to Pets' Place. Lots of food - pizzas from Pizza Hut, pasta from Avenetto, cake rolls from goldilocks, & drinks. So many food, and we enjoyed a lot.

Exchange gifts- fun! =) amusing.

then at 10:30pm-Sir Manuel arrived with Jed. Hehe. then we played charades tila round 1 am. Then Sir went back home. So we had an open forum while we were at the garden (back lawn of Pets' house) til around 5 am.

loved the party. just didn't like the large butterflies. i love Block A. Sharlene gave us all gifts (keychains) with personalized messages. i love my new slippers from marj. kat gave me a gift too. grabe. sooo Sweeeeettttttt!

then 6-7 am -slept a little. i was teasing jed about his new crush/girl. hehe. others were sleeping, and the others were playing cards. =)

then out by 7am. commute again to UP -tricycle, jeep, jeep. whew. too tired. then just changed clothes, then slept 9-2 pm. then to BA at 3:30 pm til 9pm for BA 186. then so tired. didn't do accounting.

Party Mode! =)

Awitan.

dec.11, mon- last PI class dis year, no law class. =) 7.30pm at UP theatre with Kat, supposed to watch the Awitan to start at 7pm. But there was no electricity and so it was moved to 9pm. Kat & I went to SM north instead; bought some gifts. Then to UP Theatre at 10:30 to 12midnight. Had ate reign (room mate) fix my special late permit. Arrived when the MSS org before IE club was performing.

IE club (ate rox, a room mate) performed too. Karolyn, Pie, Rhett, & Pets were there for JPIA. THey were really good. Great performance! The common song was Fruitcake by eraserheads. IE club sang "Tindahan ni Aling Nena", while JPIA sang "Manila, Manila". Good choreography.

Rushed back to dorm after JPIA's performance. They were the last performer anyway. it was nearly 12mn already. I was with Kat during the whole awitan; i went back to the dorm with Ate rei (dorm mate, also a JPIAn). arrived at exactly 12mn.

results:

JPIA-3rd
IE- 2nd
CIEM- 1st. I don't think they were that good compared to the other two though - performance, songs, choreography, vocal quality.

normal.karma. normal karma.

Love doesn't see the pain.
But hurt is so strong.
Will you be there for me?
Love is distorted as I see it.
When can I feel loved?
Loneliness is becoming a part of me.
They see me as happy;
Glad that they do.

-------------------------------------------------

Love is distorted as I see it.
When can I feel loved?
Loneliness is becoming a part of me.
They see me as happy:
Glad that they don't see the pain.
But hurt is so strong.
Will you be here for me?

culminating night

dec.8, fri- immaculate concepcion. We're supposed to have no class today. but ma'am acuna of 151 decided that we should have one no matter what happens. & so we did. actually, the group met at 10.30am for 186. i wanted to finish that darn thing. it's quite difficult pa nmn. we had consultation with sir after 151 class. then decided to revise it afterwards. had dinner at BA. then went to mass at 7-8.30pm. went back to dorm to fix myself, then back to BA rooftop for culmi nyt. block A supporting Pie, rhett, pets, saerom, & adrian. great performance. rhett practiced them the night before til 3 am. whoa. grabeh.

went back to dorm at 11pm with karolyn. =)

dec.9, sat- kat & I met at 12nn-2pm for 186. finished that darned thing. was so complicated, but we able to fix it up. it's better that only the two of us meet up rather than the whole group. it'll be so complicated then.

3-5pm- at cubao! got so lost! i was supposed to go to the bus terminal to get my ticket to catanduanes on 16th. but my gosh. i entered different malls, and i was so confused. then i also bought my plane ticket back to manila for jan 3rd. agh. i got lost, i entered smelly places, and i rode the MRT.

i was on my way to cubao when karolyn texted that rhett's got a concert at glorietta. actually, a free choir performance at g4/oakwood. met up with pie & rose ann & kat. 6-7pm. nice. i love the OPMs.

toured glorietta.went to greenbelt.seattles til 11.30pm. rose-ann's birthday the next day.then kat & i back to UP. it was awkward back there. reached dorm at exactly 12mn. wasn't late for curfew! haha.

-so bothered. i hate this guilty, anxious, hurt feeling.-

varied.

dec 5, tue- it's karolyn's 19th birthday. got no classes. cancelled. SR convolcation 1-4pm. our class is at that exact schedule. great. hehe.

6pm- went to church. after mass, talked to Father Jboy. Learned he was from Catanduanes too. We talked in Bicol. He was asking for help/donations for the people there. 90% property damage.

8 pm- got allergies. it started itching yesterday afternoon. i didn't mind it then. it was tolerable. then at after i went to church, i saw some red spots all over my body. texted papa, then went to ER at infirmary.

they gave me an injection and a tablet. i slept from 8.30 to 10 pm. Papa, marlon, and uncle evan arrived. the doctor gave me medicines for five days.

then back to dorm. slept. was so tired.

dec. 6, wed- morning i saw offline messages from rhett. -bacbacan- haha. later on he was performing with nica for Mr.& Ms. Bacbacan. good performance! =) (kaya pla "see u in bacbacan")

bacbacan til 4pm. movie afterwards.sir called.

dec. 7, th- no class in accounting & law. made a multiply site for block: http://bestblocka.multiply.com. password: *******. i informed some of my blockmates about it. everyone can access it, and customize.

went to mass afterwards & attended an immaculate concepcion lecture at the dorm lobby.

BACBACAN 2.

Wednesday - @ DAR gym, we were having our sportsfest. Bacbacan 2 is all about competition with other BA-based organizations. We had fun watching Mr& Ms Bacbacan. Rhett & Nica were representing JMA, but since we were blockmates, we support them! haha. JPIANs may actually hate us for that. But we kept on cheering for JPIA (Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants) too.

Then basketball games..it was ok. our team was losing last time i checked.

At 4 pm- we were bored already so we went to SM north. actually we walked to philcoa then someone suggested we watch a movie, so we went to SM. haha. watched "a good year" of russell crowe. it was ok. i wasn't affected in any way. it's just wala lang. Not pretty good if it has no effect. Quite a love story anyway. There were JPIANs too. What a coincidence! Stan's group was also there.

Then at 7:30 at UP already. Someone called. I have to make a plan. Fast. I think it is for the good of everybody so I lied. If I made the wrong decision, and everybody puts the blame on me, I think I have the comfort of knowing that I did it not because I wanted it. I did it not for me. I lied because I think everybody would benefit from it.

That makes me quite a hero, don't you think?

>But such thought made me feel worse than a liar...<

The thought of sacrificing one's self for the good of everybody; like a martyr if you may say so.., it has to be done voluntarily, freely, for the love of others, for the love of God and fellowmen,... and not for the love or thought of one's self that in the end you will be praised by your fellowmen.

CRABS for SALE

HI,

If you're interested in buying crabs
from 500grms to 1 kg each, you can
contact me at:

09177374309 - nikki
09154473909 - sammy

they are in bicol. no problem in
transportation to metro manila or other nearby areas of metro manila or catanduanes.

just order. thanks.

alumni homecoming.

9 am- at BA with Kat. assisted in registration of the guests.

helped in seating arrangements, photography, and other small details such as holding the mic for the JPIA choir.

done at 2.30 pm. at dorm before 3 pm. got some roses from the flower arrangemnts at the tables. had lunch there too. food's ok. got dessert from the guests. hehe. nice.

enjoyed it. met lots of people. oldies, profs, etc.

- Papa drove me to UP 7-7.30 am. heard news from radio: 6 people died, some injured, some missing. from a small boat that was at the sea during the typhoon. stupid people. the details were sent be gov. verceles. there was no other news. that was all. still frustrating.-

typhoon

nov 30, thursday-no classes. actually, it was announced the day before that classes were cancelled due to typhoon. i also learned yesterday na signal #4 na sa amin (virac, catanduanes). i hate it. centro n nmn kami.

mama called up 7.30 am thru the dorm's landline phone. there was no more signal in virac. she couldn't contact me na. she told me to go to san juan because it's going to be a very strong typhoon. it'l be difficult if i get stuck in this dorm. i was opposing it actually. i have to bring a lot of things. she told me to go to san juan quickly before it starts to rain. the typhoon (reming/durian)was already starting to get heavy -rains, winds, etc. the path was supposed to include metro manila. so she was worried too. but i was worried more. my god, my dad is here. so who were left? my mom and four younger sisters. great.

i reached san juan by 9 am, taxi. i read 151, some law, 142, did some 186. actually, i think i was pretty productive that day. i did a lot of things.

dec 1, fri- holiday.

i was supposed to go out with my HS classmates today (miriam, jane, etc) but got cancelled due to bad weather. it wasn't raining, but the sky was gray and gloomy. i watched TV whole day waiting for news. NONE for catanduanes!!!! i hate it! all they said yesterday was that it's signal #4! but nothing nothing now! i hate the Tv stations! everything's down there - electricity, water, communication lines, cell sites, net, radio, everything!!
there is absolutely no contact!

i tried to read something but it was no use. i was worried, and that was it.

good thing there are also some people equally frustrated as i am.

dec. 2, sat- i just finished reading a chapter during the morning, and i did nothing else but watch TV the rest of the day. there is still no news! my gosh~! i was reading newspapers everyday, the TV was on the whole day, i kept on dialling the phone for every few hours, i tried calling them on their cellphones evry few hours, and i'm on the net regularly to check for updates.

this is really frustrating. there is no single news on TV whatever happened to catanduanes. they kept on mentioning albay. thing is,they already know what's happening and what happened there! same thing being repeated! same news, same videos. damnit, they were feasting on the same news the whole darn day, since yesterday pa.

couldn't the government at least send a chopper or a plane there? no volunteers or relief goods (because they'll bring news if ever)? my god.

i just want to know, are they still ok? are they gonna be ok? darn TV stations. darn gov't. u two covered everything, every place the typhoon hit,..all except our province.

my dad said about 6 people died. he said from the radio. that was all.

adidas.

nov.28, tue- i went to galleria because of the adidas check i have to get. from 4.15 to 5.30 to galleria, then waited until about 7. the office was in the 38th floor, equitable tower. i got messed up in the elevators. hehe. there were floor arrangements pla. certain elevators on a particular range of floors.

i went back to UP after getting the check. did some 186.

nov 29, wed- @ BA for the TFI (tuition fee increase) lecture by the student regeant. honestly, his arguments aren't that good. there was a lot of loopholes, and illogical or irrational arguments, whatever he is trying to point out.

12 noon- Avenettos at Visayas Ave. for lunch with groupmates (Carlo, Ash, Kat, Karolyn,Rhoma, Wow, Mayeen),Pie, Nina, Rhett. Nina & Rhett got cars so there we went. Food's great! ok ambiance, similar to TOSH. we ordered two large pizzas (bacon cheeseburger & new york), 4 pastas (2 red & 2 white). haha. we didn't finish them, so take-out. then to BA. group meeting for 186. gosh, discussion.

then gave some pizzas to ate guard, sir manuel.

6 pm- Sir called up. He talked about a lot of things. He said he's a little annoyed that his birthday landed on sunday, same day for the alumni homecoming event he was organizing. oh well.

live it up.

so tired. i woke up at 5 am because someone texted me, and there was a continuous ringing of a celfone from somewhere. whew.

i got so sleepy in the afternoon, and so irritable.control.

i went to galleria, but i was so tired already that i didn't have enough energy to be angry, except for certain txts and IMs a while ago. i made a lot of mistakes but fine, i don't care. i just want everything to be over with.

-i thought he cared for me.. i thought he liked me...stupid illusions..i must be dreaming to expect something from him. -

must forget. must forget.must still live.

dizzy

surprise surprise.

i feel better already. i still get a little dizzy sometimes.

stil figuring out how to fix the van. oh my gosh.

red, pula, red red, pula pula, GO ReD! redelicious. ravishing, exciting, dangerous Red Team!

PANA

yeehah! UP won at PANA (Advertising Association)..it's actually a marketing competition for Philippines.

we attended (kat, ash,wow, wow's bf/falk & me) the seminar. we entered and loren legarda was already having her speech. she's quite a beauty. hehe. symmetric, flawless features.

great speeches. + a CEO + managing director...nice nice nice.

the contest started at 2pm. wow & falk left at noon. there were 7 contestants/schools (UP Visayas, FEU, UP Diliman, La Salle Dasmarinas, Assumption, Ateneo, Holy Spirit Manila).

UP CBA students were about 1/3 of the audience. haha! great cheering guys! ~wheeeee~!

enjoyed it though i loved the stratmark entry of UP better than this one. and the presentation this time wasn't really outstanding relative to the others. i must admit, some were at par with UP. i don't know what made them win, but maybe their proposal appealed to the judges.=) they know better though.

after that, kat & i went to katips, ate some dinner, then starbucks for l'oreal. that e-strat is so complex. gosh, can't understand anything. oh well, we just entered some data and submitted it. hehe. wishing for luck. wishing for blessing. oh please let us make it to the second round. we'll try study how it works.later.not much time now.=P

so tired.so much to do.off to sleep!=)

My Preschool

I made this poem for my youngest sister, Laurice, who is a contestant for a Poem competition (Division Level) on December 22, 2006.

The theme was: "Preschool education: Start right, grow smart."

My Preschool

I entered school when I was two;
It was because I wanted to go with my sister too.

It wasn’t easy because I was so small;
But I proved them wrong, I beat them all.

At first I was frightened; I was all alone;
But then, I saw little children like me looking so forlorn.

I smiled, and I made friends,
We sat together like we were best friends.

Then our teacher came,
And we were surprised she doesn’t have a cane.

We thought she’s old and ugly and mean;
But it turned out she’s young and pretty and sweet.

At first, we played and played,
And good health to God we prayed.

My teacher proceeded to say,
That there are some things we should obey.

[That there are some rules for you and me,
You’ll see how important they can be.

We should always be honest, kind, and fair,
Always be good, and willing to share.

These are rules that we all should know,
We follow these rules wherever we go.]

From our teacher we learned our ABCs, and how to read and write,
She also teaches us what is wrong and what is right.

She taught us that plant makes food from sunlight,
And she was so proud that we were so bright.

She taught us colors, and there are lots of them
And our favorite rainbow has seven of them!

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet;
I have to memorize them so I don’t forget.

She taught us how to draw and paint,
We also had fun making paper dolls and planes.

She taught us how to add and subtract numbers,
So that we can count our money ‘cause we’re not bummers.

She read us tales and stories;
And we were enchanted by the fairies!

We learned how to act prim and proper;
‘Cause we are little princes and princesses with honor.

[We raise our hands to speak;
We work quietly at our seats.

We use voices soft and sweet;
We keep our places tidy and neat.

We are helpful, friendly, and fair;
We take turns, and willingly share.]

In preschool, we learn and play;
We also think and pray.

We learn how to love and care;
To follow our dreams, we also dare.

Being good is what we learn in school
And we grow up smart in our preschool.


Time duration: approx. 2 minutes.

* Those in brackets are the lines I copied somewhere in the Internet which I couldn’t find now. Please tell me if you happened to know the sources so I can appropriately acknowledge them. The rest are original.

self-mutilation

terrible day.

i hate it.

i drank that stupid coffee. i feel bad. i feel so anxious everytime. i don't like this. i hate it!

can anyone please tell what to do? what to take so i can stop feeling like this? please!

- had fun with ash, rhett (py-rhetts..haha), kat, karolyn & rhoma at isawan. - whatever.

-terrible. i feel bad. i want to hurt myself physically so i can stop feeling the hurt inside. wat do they call it? self-mutilation? psychological problem. but i feel that way. i hate it. wish it will stop. please make me forget it.

- i can't sleep this way.-

carlo had problem with that taxi driver. met his family agen.

- wish i could sleep! forget everything. start over new. -

this is the worst feeling ever - the guilty embarrassed anxious feeling.-

back to school.

wish i could go back home.

fone..

i lost my mobile phone/cellphone just a few hours ago. stolen. oh well, i think the market value of that one will barely reach a thousand pesos. haha. it was already a very old model of Nokia, and has depreciated so much, with lots of cracks on it, and it wasn't functioning well lately. turns off automatically, and has other symptoms of giving up soon. at least it was the only fone lost in the house. the cheapest one.

but it was my fone for exactly 2 years already; longest one.

no use in getting a new fone since i don't have a list of my contacts. nice.

-i hate it here. terrible place.-

home..

*hot shower beats the nagging, yes; but how long is it gonna be?*

is this the trade-off i have to pay? i got my food (of course a lot better than i have at school), my net, TV, etc. in exchange for the nagging? can't i just rest for a while and then i'l get back on my feet after. but if i don't get my proper rest early on, the need for it will drag over the days. now this is bad, becasue i'l be feeling tired & gloomy for a lot many days.

my gosh, i'm so tired of everything, just plain exhausted of last sem, when i was running and cramming the whole time. though i can say, i sleep 8 hours about 80% of the days, the brain work is still pretty draining.

i want to recharge myself to face a whole new set of challenges next sem. but the moment i try to, there will be always someone, something who is very enthusiastic in keeping me on my feet. and there's the nagging thing. it's a totally bad habit women can't seem to get rid of. and some actually, managed to increase their levels, instead of reducing it.

why can't i just sleep wen i want to? i just want to rest. please.

laurice & hersheys

laurice, in her sisters' bedroom.

-advertising for hersheys? haha.

before going home...

by saturday, i was home in san juan. i got my rebooked plane ticket in the afternoon. then i was just wandering at gateway. there's nothing to do; and nothing i wanted to do. i went to the bookstores - browsed the books; read some; bought nothing. i texted everybody; everybody was texting me by the way. My parents, friends, profs, were all calling up. feel so sorry for my fone.

by sunday, i was supposed to meet a friend to borrow some books. But since he cancelled it off at the last minute, i decided to go to the nearest mall and wander around (again). just got some few things to buy i could finish up in less than 20 mins. but i was there for hours before someone i know saw me. haha! we watched a movie - "the departed". great movie. though it lasted more than 2 hours long, we were glued to our seats, and watched with excitement, fascination, & thrill of it.

glad we watched that one. we both haven't been to the movies for months. haha. busy with school stuff. at last, i'm starting to rest & relax my super tired mind. gotta recharge both my body & brain for next sem'd challenges (which i'm sure is a lot).

at least, before i go home, i have starte dto unwind myself, & free myself from worries, anxieties about my grades. gotta let them be. can't change them. just have to pray for them.

happy SemBreak! haPpY VaCatIon! =)

will go to the beach. must go.

hmm...now where's my new swimsuit?

accounting.

hmm, let's see. we had our finals last thursday (19th), and it was from 8.30-12nn. i studied the whole two days before that, and i was confident i'd at least pass that exam. i'm not so sure about my 3rd exam though.

anyway, after the final exam, sir told us we are supposed to pass our exercise folder (i.e. homeworks for the whole sem!). But i hardly even do them, and there are several chapters of them. the problems assigned looks like a matrix. gosh, there were so many of them. then i tried to call up sir & he didn;t answer. But he returned my call. He said he had no other basis for the other 5% for our grades which is supposed to be class participation. So there. I started doing it that night; finished till 1 am. woke up early the next day, and finished the whole thing by lunch time. passed it by mid-afternoon. though it's still due on monday; i couldn't rest until i've done the whole thing.

my flight home should have been 20th morning; but since i don't think i could make it due to my other project in 182, my mom cancelled it off a day before. then had my cousin buy me a bus ticket that same day that would leave late in the afternoon. that is supposed to give me some extra time; but as fate would have it, the additional homework thing added to my requirements list, and so i have to have additional time. so again, bus ticket cancelled.

today i went to san juan with the rest of my things. the driver picked up most of my stuff yesterday. i went to cubao to get my plane ticket for monday; then off to gateway! did nothing; just ate lunch then to national bookstore browsing some books. i bought nothing. haha. i'm broke. i'm just there to pass away the time, and to relax my mind.

as i was in the LRT to V.mapa (i'm off to another mall), sir called. & he brought me some happy news. for that sir, i'm willing to look for that dry oil mist in Body Shop that you want. haha.

luv yah sir! i hope to see ya next sem!

wenk.

-this was kuya lawrence's status last night.

*wenk*

accounting 3rd exam..

-was so tired. 1.30-5.30pm. whoa. diet. just drank some water the whole time.

i realized i'm losing a lot of stuff:

1. my favorite black cardigan
2. about 3 or 4 skirts! [damn, who borrowed them?]
3. my new pair of swimsuit [it's a 2-pc!]
4. money/cash

please return them, whoever borrowed them or seen them. please please! thanks!

comm3

october 13 - friday 10-12nn: comm3 final group presentation.

the groups had the liberty to choose whatever it wishes to perform, & our group chose to do a magic show. =) although it was so much a hassle, and we have to prepare a lot, it was still a lot easier than the others who have to memorize some lines, practice the plot, etc. while we just have to dance and do the magic tricks. haha. it was so spontaneously done. & i think the audience was entertained too.

sir videotaped the presentations. he interviewed us one by one at the start (he was recording them), then the presentations. he was also doing it even after. he prepared a letter, & read it aloud. it was so much fun. it's apparent that he's gonna miss us, & yeah, we're going to miss him too. he gave us chocolates in then end (kisses!), and since i was the one nearest to him, i was the first one given. haha.

then he hugged & kissed us..aww. gonna miss you sir, even though you were so demanding the whole semester. i sacrificed a lot for your subject.

& you're gonna watch our videos the whole sembreak. i know you're gonna miss us. & yeah, you probably know we're gonna miss you too.

oh well, that's how it goes. i'l miss you sir archie! =)

-p.s. i still have that chocolate you passed around. i'm having a hard time trying to decide whether to eat it or not. if there's something i forgot to tell you while you were interviewing me, it was the fact that i'm gonna miss the class, & that includes you. haha.-

law exam..

yesterday, i had my speech for comm3 which i crammed the day before. Tuesday, i also had an exam from 10-1 pm. i did my speech plan after; practiced it the next morning. so wed- had my speech which Sir had nothing to say but negative comments. agh. i think it was ok though, if not for my super-talkative classmate who was talking the whole time i was doing my speech. He was doing it the whole period. haay.

then wed pm- we practiced for our presentation on fri am. my god, i was so tired i slept early without even reading my law book.

so i just started studying this morning. haay. slept a lot in between. my mom told me to study well. sorry ma.

had the law final exam 6-8 pm today. i missed a lot of details of course. bad. it had ennumeration, what do you expect? i hate that exam. i finished earlier than the time limit; waited for others. then about 20 of us decided that we'll have a block dinner. haha. philcoa. then! no space at the fastfood restos we want, so we went to where there's enough space for us - Kungfood! haha. honestly, the food wasn't good. the green tea was terrible. haha. but the company's great. i love my blockmates.

hey nina! how many heads does a guy have again? haha! 2 or 3? one real head.., & the others please? where where?

the guys were laughing! as bryan put it: nina! a guy has 1 head & 2 eggs! so total: 2 heads! haha.
my god. you're killing me.us.haha.

other interesting things that happened today:

-pets scared the hell out of me when he touched both my ankles behind my back. stupid. i was so surprised. i was cramming for the exam.
-jed surprised me when we were at the philcoa, jollibee waiting for them. haay!
-another guy was attempting to do the same. whoa guys. i'l be getting a heart attack if you don't
stop.haha.
-ash got my celfone while we were at the resto. wow. so fast. then went to the inbox & showed it to the rest. he opened jake's forwarded msg.haha. there's nothing interesting to show there.hahaha.
-gil unlocked my fone too. my gosh. what's with these people? haha.

--wanna go home & rest--

tissue.

i was sick since thursday last week. i still have a runny nose, and is coughing at times. i got a roll of bathroom tissue on my hand while i was walking back to the dorm, when suddenly:

Guy in corporate attire : Miss, Miss, puede humingi ng tissue?

[translation: Miss, may i have some tissue please?]

He was standing near the econ bldg, & he's quite good-looking.

haha. funny guy. though i gave him some.

horoscope.

Pisces- If you are in the midst of trying to explain something to someone -- you should stop. Right now, trying to help someone else to understand exactly what you need to accomplish is not going to be easy. The world outside of your head is moving to its own rhythms, and they are not currently in sync with yours. So stop knocking on someone else's door trying to get in. Go wherever you feel most comfortable, and let yourself ignore the rest of the world.

http://www.excite.com/

i find horoscopes from this site really good. nice work. and applicable to me. wow. i appreciate the advices. thanks.

starbucks.

sept 29- went to starbucks agen, but didn't accomplish anything. was more productive yesterday. went back to dorm at 7 pm. got electricity by 6 pm, my roommate said.

it was nice. back to normal.back to work.

slept at 9pm to 9 am the next day. haha.

typhoon.

sept.28, thursday - my accounting professor actually texted me yesterday that there will be no class today, as announced by the chancellor. so, i forwarded the message to all my classmates, friends, & other profs that are on my phone list.

it was because of the typhoon, which started today. black-out by 11 am til the next day. heavy rain & strong winds; the big old tree in front of our room broke down. our pretty garden was trashed.

& so i decided i'll just go to san juan and see if there's electricity there. need to study. my time's wasted doing nothing. ahh. but bad luck was following me around that day. i rode on a taxi, with a darn stupid driver. oh my god. i asked him to drive me to a nearest starbucks or mcDo with electricity, not generator powered. i have to charge my phone & have to study too. he talks to me rudely, and he was so nasty. i hate it. it was so insulting. we went to cubao first and i didn't like the mcDo there because there was a lot of people. and i don't think they have an outlet for customers. so there, i told him to drive me to timog. but no! he told me that mcDo's there & i have to get out. i offered to pay him additional so i could go to timog. agh. i hate to do it but i had no choice. there was no LRT and there were a lot of people waiting for taxis. whew.

we went to timog, then tomas morato. he wanted to drop me off at the first restaurant he saw. i hate him. i just can't go to any resto. so i said i'll leave on the nearest starbucks. & know what he told me? that he thinks i've got a loose screw on my head. my gosh! i'm a student wanting to study, and doing my duties as a proper student. oh my golly. i hate it. i have to contact some people so i need my fone. & he sees me as that?!

haay. whew. i think he's the one who's a little demented. maybe that's why our country isn't progressing. a lot of stupid people. stupid.stupid.stupid. even common sense isn't so common afterall.

stayed at starbucks from 7-4am. good thing though the people there were nice. saw yul servo, the actor. good-looking person.=)

had a lot of disagreements with people today. omg. maybe i'm just a little cranky; but hey, the taxi incident topped the whole thing off. with no electricity, no internet, no atm, no money, no LRT, & my god, no taxis.

so many inefficiencies.so much money, time, effort wasted. i hate this. i feel guilty.

agh. whew. *sigh*

well, actually, i wished for a typhoon so classes will be cancelled. i actually said the day before that there will be a typhoon today and there will be no classes. i never thought it would come true, though i was hoping. but i never wished it to damage the country this much. i'm sorry.

atlantic city.

May 2006 - Atlantic City, NJ

Although I've been here just for a few hours, I fell in love with the boardwalk of this City. It was so cold, and some of the stores were closed. There were only a few people aside from us, and it rained a little afterwards. It may seem gloomy to some, but it was one of the happiest days of my life.

I don't know why. Maybe it was with the people I am with. But I've been with them for two months on different places living with other people. So it's not exactly the reason. I gave up trying to figure out why.

But I will always remember this place with fondness, just like Chicago.

church.

Love is patient;
love is kind;
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
-(NRSV, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Father said we should be patient not just with circumstances, but with people. I remembered I just lost my patience with this guy last night. I offended him, and i'm sorry.

I nearly cried when I saw this little girl running happily towards her sister outside the church. they were sitting on the floor against the wall. they were selling something or begging.

Father said that he met many people in UP who are intellectuals, intelligent people with substance. But without love, they are worthless.

Loneliness is such a terrible thing. But I try to be happy in whatever situation I am in.

& for you darling, yes, I'll try to be patient.

home.

it's fixed. my mom already bought my plane tickets. My flight's on friday morning, and will be back by monday.

I still have a paper due tomorrow; an exam by wed; a monologue to recite, a play to watch, and an oral recitation on law by thursday..and i'm on a short vacation starting friday...can't wait...=)

i'll bake some cakes for my friends here..i miss doing them..

& i miss him too.

mixed

this is the day when i felt like a month has passed by..& by that i don't mean just any ordinary month..

8 am- @ adidas, vinzons - i was with this JPIA applicant & we were both manning the entrance booth, when my mom called. She was crying. Her father just died. It was her birthday yesterday. She was planning to celebrate it when she comes home. Her flight was today, so she just arrived there in the morning. & her father died that morning too. Probably from stoke, they said. My grandma was staying at our house while mom was away. She came back to their house early in the morning, and they couldn't wake him up. He was dead.

I refer to him as my mom's dad, not as my grandfather. we weren't that close. we've talked, and we were always at their house when we were kids; but that's all. we see him, & that's it. nothing more. a person can say that i've been too unfeeling, so unemotional. but that's him too. in any case, my mom was crying till the afternoon, & she wants me to go back home next week. it was ok on my sched. But my dad & grandmother decided against it. my mom is still trying to decide about my flight home. her father's dead; there's nothing more i can do. i can't bring myself to cry, to mourn, to do something that would show my grief. nothing..

i told jake about it. he also went here from the states when his grandparent died last summer. he keeps asking if i'm ok. & i am. no need to worry.

11:30 am- my professor in 101 gave the results of our midterm exam, and i got a hundred, a perfect score. in our group of six, 2 of us got a prfect score, one 99, one 98, one 96, & the other unknown. four of us got a 1.00, that's over the nine people who got a 1.00 in the whole class.

that subject is ok for us. we gt nice papers, got good grades in quizzes, & delivered a good report presentation. i'm a little behind right now, but i'l try to catch up with it later on.

2.30 pm- class pic with sir. last day of 141. gil's birthday.

5 pm- someone from jake's school (he ws in a PE uniform), came over to the adidas sale. was surprised. but happy that he really tried to inform people & help me with my project.

6pm- he called 30 minutes earlier saying he was already in UP & was looking for the adidas sale. then i went to BA to check some stuff. Then a few minutes after i came back, he went out the room. i really appreciated the effort though he wasn't able to find what he wanted really. thanks.

7 pm- the adidas staff said that the sales for the day is ok though still not enough to cover the low sales the past few days.

7.15 pm - i asked my prof in 182 if i passed the midterm exam. he said mine's on the 80+. so it's ok. great. i thought i'm going to fail that course.

i read the university paper and the article titled "keys me" was really intriguing. a critique directed to most young people. i want to meet the author. i've got lots to ask.

--i'm too tired to think of anything else right now. i haven't studied yet for my exam in accounting for next week. i wish i could rest for a week.--