There were two children who met at the church- a little boy and a little girl. They started playing around and was running after each other.
At one instance, probably the last game they had, the little girl was the one running after the boy. She's probably it. And then, the little boy went back to his parents and was busy with another activity again, forgetting about the game and the little girl.
The girl kept waiting. When she realized that her playmate wouldn't join her again, she just smiled sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed that she had been waiting for nothing. Then she went back to her parents, probably wishing nobody saw what happened.
My relationship with you darling, has been like that. Thing is, seems like i've always been it. Looks like it's not a fair game. But it was my fault, wasn't it? You expressed your resignment. I should have accepted it. I should have stopped...waiting.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Progress
was it a year ago? a few days before your brthday that i said goodbye?
it's nearly a year past..and i'm still stuck with the goodbyes.
it's been a year yes. and i haven't kept my word. i tried darling. i did.
yesterday i made a bet with my sister, just so that now i have to keep my promise. i should have nothing to do with you starting that day- yesterday, july 22, 2007, a sunday.
i made an improvement darling! you should be proud of me. i managed to delete your number and your folder of messages in my mobile phone. so now you're off in my phone. Next will be the YM messages, which will really take some time since darling, your folder in my message archive contains a year-worth of messages. i have to take care of it some other time. but i deleted you off my YM list already.
just so you would understand (not that you care anyway), I'm not doing this to spite you. I'm doing this for me and for both of us. You don't like me bothering you all the time. So i have to do something. I deleted you off my phone and my YM list so that I won't see your name on them, and so I will not be tempted to bother you.
and you're not online (or just invisble) these days anyway. hiding from me? no need darling. cause i'll resist every urge to contact you - with the bet and my resolution, I intend to keep my word.
promises are said to be meant to be broken. i did it a lot of times. now God, please help me keep my promise. I'm hurting now but it's better than to prolong the agony, the illusion.
it's nearly a year past..and i'm still stuck with the goodbyes.
it's been a year yes. and i haven't kept my word. i tried darling. i did.
yesterday i made a bet with my sister, just so that now i have to keep my promise. i should have nothing to do with you starting that day- yesterday, july 22, 2007, a sunday.
i made an improvement darling! you should be proud of me. i managed to delete your number and your folder of messages in my mobile phone. so now you're off in my phone. Next will be the YM messages, which will really take some time since darling, your folder in my message archive contains a year-worth of messages. i have to take care of it some other time. but i deleted you off my YM list already.
just so you would understand (not that you care anyway), I'm not doing this to spite you. I'm doing this for me and for both of us. You don't like me bothering you all the time. So i have to do something. I deleted you off my phone and my YM list so that I won't see your name on them, and so I will not be tempted to bother you.
and you're not online (or just invisble) these days anyway. hiding from me? no need darling. cause i'll resist every urge to contact you - with the bet and my resolution, I intend to keep my word.
promises are said to be meant to be broken. i did it a lot of times. now God, please help me keep my promise. I'm hurting now but it's better than to prolong the agony, the illusion.
Forwarded Messages:
12/30/2006 2:34:46pm: Arcadio
Math tells us the three saddest love stories:
The tangents who met once but parted forever.
The parallel lines who never really met, and never will.
And the asymptotes who are getting closer and closer but were not meant together.
1/17/2007 9:51:41pm: Jane
Kung meron ang math, meron din ang physics.
Physics demonstrates the three biggest ironies of love:
1. There are those with forces of attraction so great, but will never be together because a stronger force separates them.
2. There are those in uniform circular motion: infinite attraction, no interaction.
3. And there are those so similar, like two magnets with similar poles, the closer they get, the stronger the repelling force.
1/9/2007 8:33:39 pm: Ash
Para sa mga bitter:
“Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. Just so he can see and feel how much love hurts…advance happy valentines!”
1/1/2007 11:55:36pm: Jane
“Love someone whom you don’t have to be fancy or talk in a special way, you don’t have to mind your manners or wear your best clothes and shoes, you don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re feeling sad..Love someone you can cry on, you can laugh out loud with, you can speak your mind or say nothing at all, you don’t have to try hard to impress him/her..Go with someone whom you can just be you and appreciates you for that..”
[meaning I don’t have to, but want to is okay?]
11/28/2006 10:38:04pm: Jane
People say they love flowers,
Yet they pluck them.
They say they love trees,
But still cut them.
Now I know why some are afraid
When told that they are loved…
4/2/2007 11:32:12pm: Jane
In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is having someone who can look at you straight in the eyes, and tell you he/she loves you; someone worth every risk of pain, someone who’ll stay, someone who will simply make a difference.
12/28/2006 9:57:07am: Ash
The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born…until you fall in love.
12/17/2006 10:02:56pm: Arcadio
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.- Anais Nin
11/18/2006 10:56:06pm: Jane
“2 letters”
Dear Diary,
I saw him passing my way. I didn’t know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he’s the star of the basketball team; he’ll never notice a geek like me.
Dear Diary,
I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I’m just a guy who could shoot some hoops, while she’s the pretty honor student. She’ll never like a guy like me.
7/22/2007 10:29:04pm: Jane
“The worst pain in life is when someone you know turns into someone you knew.”
1/20/2007 10:51:06 am: Minnette
Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line:
“Miss, lam mo ba..Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop..At hindi tayo halaman..BAGAY tayo! BAGAY!”
1/7/2007 8:49:31pm: Raisa
Quotes from the world’s greatest warriors:
I came. I saw. I conquered.- Julius Caesar
I shall return.- Douglas McArthur
I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initaym. – Pacman
7/23/2007 1:27:30pm: Rose Ann
It’s nice to recall our mistakes in the past
Joke about real life punch lines
And laugh about our dumb old selves
Cause remembering how stupid we were
Makes us realize
How less stupid we are now.
Math tells us the three saddest love stories:
The tangents who met once but parted forever.
The parallel lines who never really met, and never will.
And the asymptotes who are getting closer and closer but were not meant together.
1/17/2007 9:51:41pm: Jane
Kung meron ang math, meron din ang physics.
Physics demonstrates the three biggest ironies of love:
1. There are those with forces of attraction so great, but will never be together because a stronger force separates them.
2. There are those in uniform circular motion: infinite attraction, no interaction.
3. And there are those so similar, like two magnets with similar poles, the closer they get, the stronger the repelling force.
1/9/2007 8:33:39 pm: Ash
Para sa mga bitter:
“Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. Just so he can see and feel how much love hurts…advance happy valentines!”
1/1/2007 11:55:36pm: Jane
“Love someone whom you don’t have to be fancy or talk in a special way, you don’t have to mind your manners or wear your best clothes and shoes, you don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re feeling sad..Love someone you can cry on, you can laugh out loud with, you can speak your mind or say nothing at all, you don’t have to try hard to impress him/her..Go with someone whom you can just be you and appreciates you for that..”
[meaning I don’t have to, but want to is okay?]
11/28/2006 10:38:04pm: Jane
People say they love flowers,
Yet they pluck them.
They say they love trees,
But still cut them.
Now I know why some are afraid
When told that they are loved…
4/2/2007 11:32:12pm: Jane
In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is having someone who can look at you straight in the eyes, and tell you he/she loves you; someone worth every risk of pain, someone who’ll stay, someone who will simply make a difference.
12/28/2006 9:57:07am: Ash
The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born…until you fall in love.
12/17/2006 10:02:56pm: Arcadio
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.- Anais Nin
11/18/2006 10:56:06pm: Jane
“2 letters”
Dear Diary,
I saw him passing my way. I didn’t know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he’s the star of the basketball team; he’ll never notice a geek like me.
Dear Diary,
I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I’m just a guy who could shoot some hoops, while she’s the pretty honor student. She’ll never like a guy like me.
7/22/2007 10:29:04pm: Jane
“The worst pain in life is when someone you know turns into someone you knew.”
1/20/2007 10:51:06 am: Minnette
Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line:
“Miss, lam mo ba..Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop..At hindi tayo halaman..BAGAY tayo! BAGAY!”
1/7/2007 8:49:31pm: Raisa
Quotes from the world’s greatest warriors:
I came. I saw. I conquered.- Julius Caesar
I shall return.- Douglas McArthur
I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initaym. – Pacman
7/23/2007 1:27:30pm: Rose Ann
It’s nice to recall our mistakes in the past
Joke about real life punch lines
And laugh about our dumb old selves
Cause remembering how stupid we were
Makes us realize
How less stupid we are now.
Friday, July 20, 2007
ba 143
and i still can't help myself...
haha. forget you darling?
i saw my old crush in school. he was a classmate way back in first year. he suddenly looked so attractive to me. haha. i mean, of course he was quite good-looking then, but now! my gosh, sex appeal!
he was looking at me. i think he recognized me. but then i was in a sort of a hurry, i looked so frazzled and i remembered that i forgot to put on some perfume (not that i smell bad), so i was so embarrassed that i just rushed past him and pretended to be busy. i couldn't even look and smile at him.
but next time, if ever we're gonna meet again, i'll take my chance - look, smile, and say hello. if he recognizes me, then we'll probably talk. if not, then who's gonna use a pick-up line darling? haha.
but i still miss you.
haha. forget you darling?
i saw my old crush in school. he was a classmate way back in first year. he suddenly looked so attractive to me. haha. i mean, of course he was quite good-looking then, but now! my gosh, sex appeal!
he was looking at me. i think he recognized me. but then i was in a sort of a hurry, i looked so frazzled and i remembered that i forgot to put on some perfume (not that i smell bad), so i was so embarrassed that i just rushed past him and pretended to be busy. i couldn't even look and smile at him.
but next time, if ever we're gonna meet again, i'll take my chance - look, smile, and say hello. if he recognizes me, then we'll probably talk. if not, then who's gonna use a pick-up line darling? haha.
but i still miss you.
Monday, July 16, 2007
reality
i did something stupid. and ugly. and embarassing. and i hate it.
but i did something else which is wonderful and fulfilling.
i did everything darling. i did everything i can even if there's nothing to save in the first place.
i suppose i should be happy now. that i was given the opportunity to do everything. i took the risk, see? even if it didn't turned out what i hoped for...what happened was different.
i didn't expect something incredible to happen, though i hoped for it. what happened was nice enough for me to wish for a second time around.
i was always giving and expecting nothing in return. but i wished and hoped, and i prayed, that someday you will do something for me. but darling, throughout the years, you never even bothered to give me something. sometimes you were there when i asked you to. but that's always it - i ask for it, and sometimes you give in. it's like you're forced to do it. it's like you do it in return for whatever you received from me. that's what i feel. that's what i think you feel about it.
and you don't even know my birthday. i appreciate everything you did for me; but sometimes the yearnings of a romantic shows itself - the roses & chocolates, the sweet nothings, the spark, the magic, and the feeling that you love and are loved in return.
and it's obvious in your part that there is nothing to believe in. i should quit fooling myself that the things you do for me are special. cause i think they are ordinary things you do to your friends. i can't stop thinking how i managed to be in a delusion for such a long time when i'm hurting all the time.
it's over. it should be.
cause you are real darling; and i should stick to reality.
but i did something else which is wonderful and fulfilling.
i did everything darling. i did everything i can even if there's nothing to save in the first place.
i suppose i should be happy now. that i was given the opportunity to do everything. i took the risk, see? even if it didn't turned out what i hoped for...what happened was different.
i didn't expect something incredible to happen, though i hoped for it. what happened was nice enough for me to wish for a second time around.
i was always giving and expecting nothing in return. but i wished and hoped, and i prayed, that someday you will do something for me. but darling, throughout the years, you never even bothered to give me something. sometimes you were there when i asked you to. but that's always it - i ask for it, and sometimes you give in. it's like you're forced to do it. it's like you do it in return for whatever you received from me. that's what i feel. that's what i think you feel about it.
and you don't even know my birthday. i appreciate everything you did for me; but sometimes the yearnings of a romantic shows itself - the roses & chocolates, the sweet nothings, the spark, the magic, and the feeling that you love and are loved in return.
and it's obvious in your part that there is nothing to believe in. i should quit fooling myself that the things you do for me are special. cause i think they are ordinary things you do to your friends. i can't stop thinking how i managed to be in a delusion for such a long time when i'm hurting all the time.
it's over. it should be.
cause you are real darling; and i should stick to reality.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
sudden realization
now i know why i'm always tensed and nervous when we meet.
'cause darling, for such a long time, we communicated thru phone/PC. we got to know each other using these means of communication. in the absence of personal interaction, i somehow managed to conjure up illusions of you. the sole basis of course were the conversations we had, and the few times we met.
and then, i didn't know how to react - when someone i believed so far away is suddenly infront of me. how can i face my illusions? i imagined a person out of you. i made a dream person out of our conversations.
the premise for our conversations i believed at first, is that i can easily open up to you because we are never going to meet. see? as much as i want to meet you again and again, there is a lot of difference in talking with a person thru phone/PC compared to being with you personally.
i cannot imagine that someone i dreamed for so long, someone i illusioned, someone i made up out of my own wishful thinking, will face me. i can't stand the fact that someone i opened up to -my feelings, my secrets, my thoughts - will face me one day.
and the embarrassment! how am i supposed to confront you?
my dreams, my fears, my illusions - they have to fade away. somehow i managed to hold on to them for such a long time and disconnecting myself to them is like giving up a big part of me.
but it's time for me to move on. move on to reality. you cannot remain in my thoughts as is.
you are real.
'cause darling, for such a long time, we communicated thru phone/PC. we got to know each other using these means of communication. in the absence of personal interaction, i somehow managed to conjure up illusions of you. the sole basis of course were the conversations we had, and the few times we met.
and then, i didn't know how to react - when someone i believed so far away is suddenly infront of me. how can i face my illusions? i imagined a person out of you. i made a dream person out of our conversations.
the premise for our conversations i believed at first, is that i can easily open up to you because we are never going to meet. see? as much as i want to meet you again and again, there is a lot of difference in talking with a person thru phone/PC compared to being with you personally.
i cannot imagine that someone i dreamed for so long, someone i illusioned, someone i made up out of my own wishful thinking, will face me. i can't stand the fact that someone i opened up to -my feelings, my secrets, my thoughts - will face me one day.
and the embarrassment! how am i supposed to confront you?
my dreams, my fears, my illusions - they have to fade away. somehow i managed to hold on to them for such a long time and disconnecting myself to them is like giving up a big part of me.
but it's time for me to move on. move on to reality. you cannot remain in my thoughts as is.
you are real.
Monday, July 02, 2007
i waited & waited, and then u left
maybe you're wondering why i wanted to go out again...
haha darling, the reason is not exactly because i want to see you again. main reason is that i want to redeem myself.
you're not giving me any opportunity to make up for that night. i wanted to show you the best side of me. it's so embarrassing for me that everytime we meet or see each other, i'm always in the worst form possible - my appearance, mood, what i'm doing at that particular moment, etc.
i don't know if men can understand this sort of feeling - the frustration to be able to impress yourself on the person you want so much, but end up rather disgusted with yourself.
this is a very embarrassing, and stupid situation.
i don't think you're wondering why i kept asking you if you were free last weekend. you're smart enough to guess that i wanted to go out again. i waited, and waited, and then you left. i wanted to makeup for that night.
but then again, sensing that you don't want to, i have to back down.
aggressiveness will lead to nowhere. you know me well i think. you can take hints.
but i'm confused by your actions. i don't know what to expect or what to do.
nothing i suppose.
haha darling, the reason is not exactly because i want to see you again. main reason is that i want to redeem myself.
you're not giving me any opportunity to make up for that night. i wanted to show you the best side of me. it's so embarrassing for me that everytime we meet or see each other, i'm always in the worst form possible - my appearance, mood, what i'm doing at that particular moment, etc.
i don't know if men can understand this sort of feeling - the frustration to be able to impress yourself on the person you want so much, but end up rather disgusted with yourself.
this is a very embarrassing, and stupid situation.
i don't think you're wondering why i kept asking you if you were free last weekend. you're smart enough to guess that i wanted to go out again. i waited, and waited, and then you left. i wanted to makeup for that night.
but then again, sensing that you don't want to, i have to back down.
aggressiveness will lead to nowhere. you know me well i think. you can take hints.
but i'm confused by your actions. i don't know what to expect or what to do.
nothing i suppose.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
please.
"Do not tell him you want a commitment, he will run, repeat, he will run faster than you can blink. "
-from somewhere in yahoo
-from somewhere in yahoo
Friday, June 22, 2007
pathetically speaking i'm ok
i'm sorry...(why am i forever saying sorry?)
if ever that's the last time we're gonna meet, i really do regret it. i always dreamt that we'll have fun and laugh, and wish that the night will never end.
but how come when i face you i can't be myself? why do i feel so tensed and nervous?..to tell the truth, it's much easier (and we have better conversations at that) actually to talk to you thru chat or text rather than personally. even the sound of your voice makes me so nervous, and it makes me act so differently than i want to.
maybe because we should try spending more time together rather than just through whatever means of communication that is/are convenient to us.
that is, if you want to.
it takes effort and time to make it. but obviously you don't seem to exert effort and give time, i suppose there really is nothing in there. plus, you got all the entertainment you need from the people surrounding you.
you don't need me. you don't want me. and i hate it.
pathetic.
if ever that's the last time we're gonna meet, i really do regret it. i always dreamt that we'll have fun and laugh, and wish that the night will never end.
but how come when i face you i can't be myself? why do i feel so tensed and nervous?..to tell the truth, it's much easier (and we have better conversations at that) actually to talk to you thru chat or text rather than personally. even the sound of your voice makes me so nervous, and it makes me act so differently than i want to.
maybe because we should try spending more time together rather than just through whatever means of communication that is/are convenient to us.
that is, if you want to.
it takes effort and time to make it. but obviously you don't seem to exert effort and give time, i suppose there really is nothing in there. plus, you got all the entertainment you need from the people surrounding you.
you don't need me. you don't want me. and i hate it.
pathetic.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
100th post
yeah.. and when I see my first few posts, I learned that I haven't learned anything..I am not moving on. still stuck in the same old place - hurt & disgusted with myself.
more than a year already..stuck. agh.
little by little i'll move away, and by doing so will make me get over things i should have left years ago.
more than a year already..stuck. agh.
little by little i'll move away, and by doing so will make me get over things i should have left years ago.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
virac
and then i went home for the weekend to attend a wedding.
and yes, i played a lot. literally..played with my sisters.
and i wanna be home all the time. =)
and yes, i played a lot. literally..played with my sisters.
and i wanna be home all the time. =)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
greenbelt
National Sports GRill, GreenbeltPLDT Summer Camp's 1st Kamustahan
April 20, 2007 (Friday)
-nice!-
Sunday, April 29, 2007
love as..
Love as insecurity, is not a very bad thing I suppose. Insecurity arises when one loves and there is a need to be loved in return. There is the expectation for the love to be reciprocated. Insecurity is shown as we are not comfortable with ourselves alone. We need others to appreciate us and to help us develop ourselves. Perhaps it can be expressed most as follows: “we love best those who need us most” (Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery). There is a sense of martyrdom or of a need to be hero – to be praised and appreciated by other people. Hence, the image of damsel in distress and knight in shining armor comes to mind. However, love as I’m speaking of, is not limited to romantic love alone, but to love of all kinds; a personal definition of love notwithstanding.
I am not saying this is a bad thing. It is actually human nature. And if the Creator/Divine Providence made us this way, maybe there is a good reason for that.
Living alone and not needing anybody is as lonely as could be. There is a purpose for us to be created as insecure and as needy for love as possible. It is to create brotherhood and enjoy life and the blessings of the Divine Providence all the more.
Perhaps love is at its best when there is mutual benefit and happiness.
Love in moderation is good. Excessive love might result to infatuation or obsession. I think it is safe to relate love to infatuation or obsession as we are not even sure exactly what love means.
-December 18, 2006 (Monday)
I am not saying this is a bad thing. It is actually human nature. And if the Creator/Divine Providence made us this way, maybe there is a good reason for that.
Living alone and not needing anybody is as lonely as could be. There is a purpose for us to be created as insecure and as needy for love as possible. It is to create brotherhood and enjoy life and the blessings of the Divine Providence all the more.
Perhaps love is at its best when there is mutual benefit and happiness.
Love in moderation is good. Excessive love might result to infatuation or obsession. I think it is safe to relate love to infatuation or obsession as we are not even sure exactly what love means.
-December 18, 2006 (Monday)
Saturday, April 21, 2007
moody..
i'm getting a little cranky already. maybe because i haven't had a proper vacation yet since the christmas break. from all the acad work, org, intern, and other extra-curricular activities, i am already tired from rushing everything.
with just the weekend to relax--oh no! not relax! with all the org activities and laundry i have to do, and some catching up with friends and colleagues, i can't can't relax! work on weekdays and still i want to do something else..enroll in a dance class or something..something to develop a skill or discover a talent...
my sister's kidding me that i'm always trying to be a superwoman when i'm not and cannot be. Why do i always feel the need to do something or do a lot at the same time? why do i feel the need to try everything at the same time? Is time really running out? that i have to make the most of it? to no longer sleep if it's just not necessary..
tired darling. worn out. i just want to go out, relax, and have fun. don't get me wrong, i have fun working. it's just that, i think my physical aspect can no longer keep up with my determination.
i want out. i want a breather.
with just the weekend to relax--oh no! not relax! with all the org activities and laundry i have to do, and some catching up with friends and colleagues, i can't can't relax! work on weekdays and still i want to do something else..enroll in a dance class or something..something to develop a skill or discover a talent...
my sister's kidding me that i'm always trying to be a superwoman when i'm not and cannot be. Why do i always feel the need to do something or do a lot at the same time? why do i feel the need to try everything at the same time? Is time really running out? that i have to make the most of it? to no longer sleep if it's just not necessary..
tired darling. worn out. i just want to go out, relax, and have fun. don't get me wrong, i have fun working. it's just that, i think my physical aspect can no longer keep up with my determination.
i want out. i want a breather.
april madness
aside from having the first few days of april busy for some final exams & projects plus company interviews, i also had a lot if extra-curricular activities in mind.
rushing through exams and company interviews, i finally maanged to finish all the requirements and transfer all my stuff from my dorm to our house in san juan. then i have to do some FP requirements (i'm the VC for logistics for Financial Project this coming semester), American Chamber Seminar & Business Plan Competition, and then my internship with PLDT all in the same week (April 9-15, 2007). Then there's the screening for Stratmark/PANA team. There's also the plan sem for the org. The whole week, I went home just to take a bath and change clothes. I hadn't had the time to eat regularly and I was rushing from san juan to makati, to boni, to UP, and all around. I was pretty tired that week. I know I wasn't going to make it all. Some would be sacrificed for others. And i have to prioritized which matters most to me.
the results? my team won the amcham business plan competition & we got a pink glass trophy for that, and i didn't make it on the stratmark/pana screening. ironic isn' it? they're both marketing competitions..oh well. i guess i settled for the short-term goal.
I took a day off from work just to be able to make my presentation for the screening. but it was bad. i wasnt feeling good. and from the very start, i knew it would be terrible. but i want to try. i had to even though i knew it was going to be bad. Because i was still hoping..that even if my instincts are telling me it's not for me, I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and save me from destiny. I wanted to prove it wrong. That i'll be able to make it and that I make my own destiny. But no, there really are some things I can't do or change.
oh well, gotta accept fate.
after i took the PLDT contract, there are different companies calling me up everyday offerring better compansation & better work. but i could no longer back out. it's done. if i did, it would be much worse for me.
oh yeah, there's also the Philip Morris Choose your own adventure..i had the interview that friday. i know i'm not going to make it. it was bad. though i'm still hoping.
went to antipolo on sunday for the org's plan sem. tired. wasn't able to get anything from it. and i still got work the next day.
gotta rest rest rest.
rushing through exams and company interviews, i finally maanged to finish all the requirements and transfer all my stuff from my dorm to our house in san juan. then i have to do some FP requirements (i'm the VC for logistics for Financial Project this coming semester), American Chamber Seminar & Business Plan Competition, and then my internship with PLDT all in the same week (April 9-15, 2007). Then there's the screening for Stratmark/PANA team. There's also the plan sem for the org. The whole week, I went home just to take a bath and change clothes. I hadn't had the time to eat regularly and I was rushing from san juan to makati, to boni, to UP, and all around. I was pretty tired that week. I know I wasn't going to make it all. Some would be sacrificed for others. And i have to prioritized which matters most to me.
the results? my team won the amcham business plan competition & we got a pink glass trophy for that, and i didn't make it on the stratmark/pana screening. ironic isn' it? they're both marketing competitions..oh well. i guess i settled for the short-term goal.
I took a day off from work just to be able to make my presentation for the screening. but it was bad. i wasnt feeling good. and from the very start, i knew it would be terrible. but i want to try. i had to even though i knew it was going to be bad. Because i was still hoping..that even if my instincts are telling me it's not for me, I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and save me from destiny. I wanted to prove it wrong. That i'll be able to make it and that I make my own destiny. But no, there really are some things I can't do or change.
oh well, gotta accept fate.
after i took the PLDT contract, there are different companies calling me up everyday offerring better compansation & better work. but i could no longer back out. it's done. if i did, it would be much worse for me.
oh yeah, there's also the Philip Morris Choose your own adventure..i had the interview that friday. i know i'm not going to make it. it was bad. though i'm still hoping.
went to antipolo on sunday for the org's plan sem. tired. wasn't able to get anything from it. and i still got work the next day.
gotta rest rest rest.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
oh baby i love your way
somehow i think it will be over soon.
a new found love will be gone soon.
love, nik, i was surprised
you consider it love when all you had was a friend
no matter what, I have to keep it to myself.
an agony, my gosh.
a new found love will be gone soon.
love, nik, i was surprised
you consider it love when all you had was a friend
no matter what, I have to keep it to myself.
an agony, my gosh.
Last sem pic!
BA 161 (1st sem 06-07)
We look so young! haha
L-R: Carlo, Ash, Wow, Lorie, Cy, Mayeen
Seated: Nikki, Rhoma, Karolyn
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