Love as insecurity, is not a very bad thing I suppose. Insecurity arises when one loves and there is a need to be loved in return. There is the expectation for the love to be reciprocated. Insecurity is shown as we are not comfortable with ourselves alone. We need others to appreciate us and to help us develop ourselves. Perhaps it can be expressed most as follows: “we love best those who need us most” (Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery). There is a sense of martyrdom or of a need to be hero – to be praised and appreciated by other people. Hence, the image of damsel in distress and knight in shining armor comes to mind. However, love as I’m speaking of, is not limited to romantic love alone, but to love of all kinds; a personal definition of love notwithstanding.
I am not saying this is a bad thing. It is actually human nature. And if the Creator/Divine Providence made us this way, maybe there is a good reason for that.
Living alone and not needing anybody is as lonely as could be. There is a purpose for us to be created as insecure and as needy for love as possible. It is to create brotherhood and enjoy life and the blessings of the Divine Providence all the more.
Perhaps love is at its best when there is mutual benefit and happiness.
Love in moderation is good. Excessive love might result to infatuation or obsession. I think it is safe to relate love to infatuation or obsession as we are not even sure exactly what love means.
-December 18, 2006 (Monday)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
moody..
i'm getting a little cranky already. maybe because i haven't had a proper vacation yet since the christmas break. from all the acad work, org, intern, and other extra-curricular activities, i am already tired from rushing everything.
with just the weekend to relax--oh no! not relax! with all the org activities and laundry i have to do, and some catching up with friends and colleagues, i can't can't relax! work on weekdays and still i want to do something else..enroll in a dance class or something..something to develop a skill or discover a talent...
my sister's kidding me that i'm always trying to be a superwoman when i'm not and cannot be. Why do i always feel the need to do something or do a lot at the same time? why do i feel the need to try everything at the same time? Is time really running out? that i have to make the most of it? to no longer sleep if it's just not necessary..
tired darling. worn out. i just want to go out, relax, and have fun. don't get me wrong, i have fun working. it's just that, i think my physical aspect can no longer keep up with my determination.
i want out. i want a breather.
with just the weekend to relax--oh no! not relax! with all the org activities and laundry i have to do, and some catching up with friends and colleagues, i can't can't relax! work on weekdays and still i want to do something else..enroll in a dance class or something..something to develop a skill or discover a talent...
my sister's kidding me that i'm always trying to be a superwoman when i'm not and cannot be. Why do i always feel the need to do something or do a lot at the same time? why do i feel the need to try everything at the same time? Is time really running out? that i have to make the most of it? to no longer sleep if it's just not necessary..
tired darling. worn out. i just want to go out, relax, and have fun. don't get me wrong, i have fun working. it's just that, i think my physical aspect can no longer keep up with my determination.
i want out. i want a breather.
april madness
aside from having the first few days of april busy for some final exams & projects plus company interviews, i also had a lot if extra-curricular activities in mind.
rushing through exams and company interviews, i finally maanged to finish all the requirements and transfer all my stuff from my dorm to our house in san juan. then i have to do some FP requirements (i'm the VC for logistics for Financial Project this coming semester), American Chamber Seminar & Business Plan Competition, and then my internship with PLDT all in the same week (April 9-15, 2007). Then there's the screening for Stratmark/PANA team. There's also the plan sem for the org. The whole week, I went home just to take a bath and change clothes. I hadn't had the time to eat regularly and I was rushing from san juan to makati, to boni, to UP, and all around. I was pretty tired that week. I know I wasn't going to make it all. Some would be sacrificed for others. And i have to prioritized which matters most to me.
the results? my team won the amcham business plan competition & we got a pink glass trophy for that, and i didn't make it on the stratmark/pana screening. ironic isn' it? they're both marketing competitions..oh well. i guess i settled for the short-term goal.
I took a day off from work just to be able to make my presentation for the screening. but it was bad. i wasnt feeling good. and from the very start, i knew it would be terrible. but i want to try. i had to even though i knew it was going to be bad. Because i was still hoping..that even if my instincts are telling me it's not for me, I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and save me from destiny. I wanted to prove it wrong. That i'll be able to make it and that I make my own destiny. But no, there really are some things I can't do or change.
oh well, gotta accept fate.
after i took the PLDT contract, there are different companies calling me up everyday offerring better compansation & better work. but i could no longer back out. it's done. if i did, it would be much worse for me.
oh yeah, there's also the Philip Morris Choose your own adventure..i had the interview that friday. i know i'm not going to make it. it was bad. though i'm still hoping.
went to antipolo on sunday for the org's plan sem. tired. wasn't able to get anything from it. and i still got work the next day.
gotta rest rest rest.
rushing through exams and company interviews, i finally maanged to finish all the requirements and transfer all my stuff from my dorm to our house in san juan. then i have to do some FP requirements (i'm the VC for logistics for Financial Project this coming semester), American Chamber Seminar & Business Plan Competition, and then my internship with PLDT all in the same week (April 9-15, 2007). Then there's the screening for Stratmark/PANA team. There's also the plan sem for the org. The whole week, I went home just to take a bath and change clothes. I hadn't had the time to eat regularly and I was rushing from san juan to makati, to boni, to UP, and all around. I was pretty tired that week. I know I wasn't going to make it all. Some would be sacrificed for others. And i have to prioritized which matters most to me.
the results? my team won the amcham business plan competition & we got a pink glass trophy for that, and i didn't make it on the stratmark/pana screening. ironic isn' it? they're both marketing competitions..oh well. i guess i settled for the short-term goal.
I took a day off from work just to be able to make my presentation for the screening. but it was bad. i wasnt feeling good. and from the very start, i knew it would be terrible. but i want to try. i had to even though i knew it was going to be bad. Because i was still hoping..that even if my instincts are telling me it's not for me, I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and save me from destiny. I wanted to prove it wrong. That i'll be able to make it and that I make my own destiny. But no, there really are some things I can't do or change.
oh well, gotta accept fate.
after i took the PLDT contract, there are different companies calling me up everyday offerring better compansation & better work. but i could no longer back out. it's done. if i did, it would be much worse for me.
oh yeah, there's also the Philip Morris Choose your own adventure..i had the interview that friday. i know i'm not going to make it. it was bad. though i'm still hoping.
went to antipolo on sunday for the org's plan sem. tired. wasn't able to get anything from it. and i still got work the next day.
gotta rest rest rest.
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