hanoi chronicles

March 1, 2010

new month, new life?

I'm here in Hanoi, and it's my fourth day here. I haven't done much, compared to a tourist.

What's my resolution? Instead of wasting my time thinking about you, I'll just write about my experiences here in Vietnam.

Feb 26 (Day 1):

I was at the airport whole day. I was so early at the airport. I was already at the boarding area at 9.30 when my flight is supposed to leave at 12.50pm. Haha. PAL has a small meal given to passengers; other airlines wouldn't give any. So ate some siopao and siomai, read the Vietnam handbook, then boarded the plane. A lot of Filipinos going to Vietnam. Plane is quite full although the seat beside me is vacant. Everyone is so helpful coz I couldn't even carry my carry-on baggage! I have my laptop bag, and my stroller hand-carry. Whew! so heavy. 12.50-3pm to Saigon, then 5-7pm to Hanoi. Then people were always talking to me in Vietnamese! I guess I look like one. Then Hong, an AIESEC guy, and Tito Joey picked me up at the airport. He treated us to dinner too at Hotel Hanoi. Service is terrible, but the food is okay. We ate using small bowls and chopsticks. Then he drove me to where I'll be staying. Met Nhung for the first time.

Feb 27:

Rest. I was sleeping, cleaning, and reading books whole day. Had lunch and dinner with my four housemates. Good food. lots of veggies! loved it! No tables and chairs in dining area, just a big mat at the center of the floor, and then there's a big round tray at the center of the mat. We take off our shoes/slippers, sit down whatever position you want, then eat. You can get food from the plates then directly to your mouth, or out it in your bowl first and then eat rice with it little by little. Not western style where you get everything served on your plate and then you eat from there. There's a lot of bonding in the Vietnamese setup, along with a lot of saliva being shared. Hehe.

Feb 28:

Vinh picked me up for a meeting. I realize most Vietnamese wear shoes, not like Filipinos who are always in slippers. BUT they have really really nice shoes! quite fashionable, and stilletos! Just really cute! Wanna buy some! :D

Vinh is a really really cute guy. Haha. Nice outfit too. :)

Then tito joey pciked me up at 6.45pm, then we went to exchange 100USD to 1.8M dong. Haha. Then we went to the supermarket to buy some stuff- coffee, sugar, mug, spoon & fork, toiletries. Haha. Funny. Then went to KFC and he paid for my dinner and ice cream!

My housemates don't seem to use the bathroom a lot. They don't even drink a lot of water! Haha. No glasses of water while eating. But they do eat a lot of veggies, and there's always fruits after the meal.

Had some fruits around 10 pm with four housemates. Just learned I have 5 housemates! Haha. so funny.

March 1:

People here are very much ontime. they can estimate the distance (kms) as well as the travel time it takes from Pt A to Pt B. Really great people!

Vinh picked me up at 8.30am, then to CFM at 9am. He was there all throughout. He's really nice and friendly. I'm so attracted to him. But he's got a girlfriend already, but she's not staying in Hanoi. Ahh great.

Why am i so involved with men who are already attached? Probably because they're the best ones. Well, so what? I got 6 months here. And it would be so fine if he'll be with me all the time.

Maybe he can teach me how to motorbike? :)

I am so excited! :)

Training will start tomorrow afternoon.

risky moves

Just tell me one thing - are we just friends?

Why won't you talk to me now? Am i just your "intellectual companion"? Someone you could talk to when you're bored? And when you're busy, you'll not talk to me anymore?

You're still with her. How am i supposed to reconcile the fact that you do care for me (that's why you hate me for leaving, yes?) and that you're still with her?

I've always felt like you do care for me, but sometimes you just leave without saying anything. Just "poof!" and you're gone.

Then we'll talk again as if nothing happened. Like it this way, darling? No consistency, no commitments? I must admit I was the first one to break the consistency. Because darling, I wasn't sure. You haven't said anything, and I thought you're still with her.

I don't want to be embarrassed by asking you directly. We have a lot of common friends, and we move in similar circles. It would be really really difficult to face everyone's opinion about us. But are you willing to take the risk?

platonic relationship

i checked your status, and i am so disgusted with myself. Are we just friends, darling? Just friends?

no goodbyes

why didn't you even say goodbye? no goodbyes? and now you don't even want to talk to me! can't you see I need you? And yes, I need to do this darling, not because I don't care for you. I need to experience living alone, doing this kind of things, before I settle down. Before I take on a long-term commitment, which I think i'll have to do later on. Won't you even talk to me and tell me what's wrong?

Or are you indifferent, and I am just imagining all these sick delusional thoughts? :/

I just want to know that you do care for me. Because I care for you, and I want you to be happy. But this darn situation is just a test. Just one more test for us. I had not seen you for 5 months, and it was so annoying that you pretended that it was nothing. And we wouldn't even talk then.

Now that I have left and will be gone for 6 months, can we make it right this time?

why?

You didn't text me yesterday! You were the only one who didn't text me. And it seems like you don't want to talk to me when I saw you online last night. You hate me?

If you told me you don't want me to go, I would have stayed. Find something else to do. But then, would you still love me?

I saw an FB status msg this morning, and it is so true. I care for you but I don't want to be tamed. Totally against my nature, darling. Running is so much more exciting.

Please tell me what's wrong.

oh no

I was crying in the taxi on the way home. :( this is so embarrassing. haha. oh no, i missed them so. :(