loving someone

My day started off fine, I was calm and peaceful and was extraordinarily patient today. I did not make faces, made a side comment, or thought of horrible things. This afternoon made it for the worse. On top of that, my super ex boyfriend has not been talking to me, saying he was dozing on and off. He is the closest I can get to having someone really love me and give me so much attention, that's why I always come back to him. Maybe I'm bad for him, maybe not. Sometimes I get tired of chasing and being interesting or looking for someone interesting, I just want to rest and be with someone who just loves me no matter how boring I'm being to him. Ah, my life. I leave it up to you, Lord. Whatever you want, please do so. It's been a long time I have written regularly in a blog. I really should start, and create a nice website, and some ads to make some money on the side. But I want that blog to be purely me. Like an open book (with selected parts/excerpts). I hope my ex bf gets better in his job and earns enough for us both so we can live together on our own.