Maybe the ordinary man or woman...doesn't behave like a single-minded individual because he or she isn't one..-Thomas Schelling
Monday, July 24, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
life oh life..
life is so short for drama & petty problems..
so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly & forgive quickly;
life is too short to be anything but happy!
july 20, thursday- i drove the car and it hit the gate. what a mess. my parents still don't know. i hope they'll forgive me though. one of my savings account in a certain bank is in a twisted state. i really don't know what happened but there are some missing funds. oh well, as that saying goes: life is too short to be anything but happy.
oh well, life is too short to be anything to be happy.
so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly & forgive quickly;
life is too short to be anything but happy!
july 20, thursday- i drove the car and it hit the gate. what a mess. my parents still don't know. i hope they'll forgive me though. one of my savings account in a certain bank is in a twisted state. i really don't know what happened but there are some missing funds. oh well, as that saying goes: life is too short to be anything but happy.
oh well, life is too short to be anything to be happy.
shadows of the reef
july 13, thursday- i nver thought i'd be so scared watching a threatre play. the apparent display of emotion is so extreme that it make me feel so ashamed of the indifference of myself, emabarrassed of myself watching that play, and so shocked of their acting that they can pretend not to notice us, who are only a few meters away from the stage.
it scares me so.
it scares me so.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
we desire desire.
it would seen childish to point out that we take satisfaction in showing that we can do something better than others. we take a great deal of pain to cover up such a situation; but actually we arevastly gratified.
-(Marleau-Ponty: 1962-1989:189)
and though some things matter to us on account of use value, they also equal matter because they are symbols of desire of the other. we desire desire.
- Nick Crossley
there is Human desire for recognition in which recognition comes only thru superiority, dominancy, and power.
the thing is, i think people have this trait or tendency to feel satisfied that you're greater than others, and the importance of some things for us not because we need them nor want them in the first place because of its supposed value, but because people want it. This is because it is a necessity for them to survive in a community, in a society; and vice-versa. it's a part of the natural process of surviving. if you show people you have something greater/better than them, they will feel the need or want for you to be included in their group. it is because of the expectations or the feeling that you have something they lack that will complement or help them at the present or in the future. it creates the feeling of need, or want, for that matter.
imagine if you're the other person or the society, and you've just met someone with something you don't have- either materially or personally as a talent or skill. what would you feel? of course there is an assumption that this person you've just met is quite humble and 'unaffected/unflattered' with his/her power. You will naturally feel the need or want to be with this person. he/she can contribute something to the community. this person can help you, or share with you whatever it is he/she has that you lack.
works both ways. ]
instant friendships/allegiances form because of the simultaneous attention of the 'extraordinary' charcteristc of each party.
great friendshps form because as time goes by, the more the persons involved realize the need/want of each other for each other.
it was said that no two persons can't stay as friends in a long time unless there's something repulsive with the other person, or perhaps simply just the thought of it. that something can be anything from culture, environment, society, religion, moral values, ethics, priciples, to physical aspects and the overall personality of a person.
watched movie with friend jane.tokyo drift, fast & the furious. better than superman.
-(Marleau-Ponty: 1962-1989:189)
and though some things matter to us on account of use value, they also equal matter because they are symbols of desire of the other. we desire desire.
- Nick Crossley
there is Human desire for recognition in which recognition comes only thru superiority, dominancy, and power.
the thing is, i think people have this trait or tendency to feel satisfied that you're greater than others, and the importance of some things for us not because we need them nor want them in the first place because of its supposed value, but because people want it. This is because it is a necessity for them to survive in a community, in a society; and vice-versa. it's a part of the natural process of surviving. if you show people you have something greater/better than them, they will feel the need or want for you to be included in their group. it is because of the expectations or the feeling that you have something they lack that will complement or help them at the present or in the future. it creates the feeling of need, or want, for that matter.
imagine if you're the other person or the society, and you've just met someone with something you don't have- either materially or personally as a talent or skill. what would you feel? of course there is an assumption that this person you've just met is quite humble and 'unaffected/unflattered' with his/her power. You will naturally feel the need or want to be with this person. he/she can contribute something to the community. this person can help you, or share with you whatever it is he/she has that you lack.
works both ways. ]
instant friendships/allegiances form because of the simultaneous attention of the 'extraordinary' charcteristc of each party.
great friendshps form because as time goes by, the more the persons involved realize the need/want of each other for each other.
it was said that no two persons can't stay as friends in a long time unless there's something repulsive with the other person, or perhaps simply just the thought of it. that something can be anything from culture, environment, society, religion, moral values, ethics, priciples, to physical aspects and the overall personality of a person.
watched movie with friend jane.tokyo drift, fast & the furious. better than superman.
random events
"Ramdom events happen to everyone and there's nothing that can be done to predict them."
- qtd from somewhere. author's probably Anonymous
july 1- watched superman with jpia fin committee. enough criticisms for the plot. got lots of loopholes in the story which makes it such an illogical movie. but anyway, you don't watch superman movies for the sake of learning something eh?..you watch it for fun, for entertainment.
others enjoyed. i did not. probably because of the persons i was with. i don't regret having them beside me. i enjoyed analyzing the details. the only thing i regretted was the time i spent not being simply happy. sometimes trying to be smart or intelligent or wise is not smart nor intelligent nor wise at all. you lose the time darling. so what if we analyzed the whole darn thing? i could have relaxed. i could have pretended those flaws didn't exist. it wouldn't affect me anyway.
just relax. be happy.
superman.kryptonite.i gotta live.we gotta live.
- qtd from somewhere. author's probably Anonymous
july 1- watched superman with jpia fin committee. enough criticisms for the plot. got lots of loopholes in the story which makes it such an illogical movie. but anyway, you don't watch superman movies for the sake of learning something eh?..you watch it for fun, for entertainment.
others enjoyed. i did not. probably because of the persons i was with. i don't regret having them beside me. i enjoyed analyzing the details. the only thing i regretted was the time i spent not being simply happy. sometimes trying to be smart or intelligent or wise is not smart nor intelligent nor wise at all. you lose the time darling. so what if we analyzed the whole darn thing? i could have relaxed. i could have pretended those flaws didn't exist. it wouldn't affect me anyway.
just relax. be happy.
superman.kryptonite.i gotta live.we gotta live.
cherry blossoms
" Oh dear! (^*^) But that's the only way to live. Romantic love is like the cherry blossoms. Their fleeting beauty must be enjoyed while it lasts. But i hope it brought you a lot of joy before it ended. That's what matters most, and that he got it from you, too."
-from my advanced chem teacher, the lovely Ms. Caluban
july 1- Yes, i suppose. the process of feeling simultaneously happy and hurt, happend to me that night. the relationship i had with him, which was simple friendship for that matter, was fulfilling in a way it brought out the best and worst in me i never thought i had, or could be. i never thought i could care so much for a person, and get hurt that much. the intensity, uncertainty, expectations, anticipations were so much i could barely think of anything else.
i was happy being with him. his presence is enough. but the way he treats me is way too much. i'm off darling. i think you had enough fun with me too.
having first experienced the extent of how a personality of a person can be affected greatly by other people, i also 'discovered' myself. the word 'discovered' in that sentence is actually incorrect. i don't think i had those traits in the first place. he helped me developed those. i became more confident, aggressive, patient, & a master of pretense- pretending something didn't happen nor affected me greatly in any way. though i still think someone else could have done me a lot more of postive things that would make the two of us better persons. But you're better than nothing darling.
oh yes ma'am, i agree.
-from my advanced chem teacher, the lovely Ms. Caluban
july 1- Yes, i suppose. the process of feeling simultaneously happy and hurt, happend to me that night. the relationship i had with him, which was simple friendship for that matter, was fulfilling in a way it brought out the best and worst in me i never thought i had, or could be. i never thought i could care so much for a person, and get hurt that much. the intensity, uncertainty, expectations, anticipations were so much i could barely think of anything else.
i was happy being with him. his presence is enough. but the way he treats me is way too much. i'm off darling. i think you had enough fun with me too.
having first experienced the extent of how a personality of a person can be affected greatly by other people, i also 'discovered' myself. the word 'discovered' in that sentence is actually incorrect. i don't think i had those traits in the first place. he helped me developed those. i became more confident, aggressive, patient, & a master of pretense- pretending something didn't happen nor affected me greatly in any way. though i still think someone else could have done me a lot more of postive things that would make the two of us better persons. But you're better than nothing darling.
oh yes ma'am, i agree.
bench fever.
Dan: "Does he make you smile, like I do?"
Tess: "He doesn't make me cry, like YOU do."
-John Ballard Surrey/Margaret Rose Powers.qtd from email forwarded msgs.
june 30, friday- i thought this would be a very exciting night. i thought we're gonna make it.
he was late. as usual. i thought maybe he just underestimated the traffic (again)..now i think he intentionally did it for the sole purpose that he'l be able to spend less time with me. excuses. i'm not being paranoid, am i? but the fact is, he doesn't even show some care for me.
didn't open doors for me. walked straight ahead; quite forgetting i'm with him. so i pretended i didn't care so as not to appear running after him. crossing the streets? before i cross, i always look for him, just to make sure he's still there. nice. he's absolutely a master of disappearing acts. before i knew it, he's already at the other end, and the cars are already zooming by. why? because i was looking behind me to look for him. it happened a lot of times.
i waited in McDo for about an hour. 7 pm. he came by past 8. got lost going to the venue by 9.30. watched for 15 minutes. left. he called up his mom for extension of dorm's curfew. ice monster. bread talk. got lost. left me at makati. taxi. home by 11.20. i wanted to cry. but i gotta show i'm brave. at least now i'm proud to say i didn't cry over him dat day. it's done. it's finished.
he absolutely didn't care, doesn't care. if i'm not going to be in his priorities, then wer am i gonna be? can he just refuse so as not to let us both get hurt & suffer?..it's worse than refusing my invitation right on if he's not happy doing it for me.
i just wanted someone to be with me that day. i thought he'd like some time-out from his acads. i never thought that even while's he's with me, he's mind off to somewhere else, somewhere i could never be.
although i think i could have been better off i just invited another friend, i still think it is for the both of us. the experience i had with him that night is a revelation of his true motives for me, of what he really felt for me: nothing. i'm nobody for him. just nikki, who was always there if ever he needed someone to talk to.
now it's never going to happen darling. i'm still here for you. but there are limits or self-control i must impose upon myself to avoid expecting too much, and getting hurt in the process. if termination of our connection/communication is necessary for me to accomplish that goal, then yes darling, i'll have no qualms on doing it right on.
at least the bench fever's HOT.
Tess: "He doesn't make me cry, like YOU do."
-John Ballard Surrey/Margaret Rose Powers.qtd from email forwarded msgs.
june 30, friday- i thought this would be a very exciting night. i thought we're gonna make it.
he was late. as usual. i thought maybe he just underestimated the traffic (again)..now i think he intentionally did it for the sole purpose that he'l be able to spend less time with me. excuses. i'm not being paranoid, am i? but the fact is, he doesn't even show some care for me.
didn't open doors for me. walked straight ahead; quite forgetting i'm with him. so i pretended i didn't care so as not to appear running after him. crossing the streets? before i cross, i always look for him, just to make sure he's still there. nice. he's absolutely a master of disappearing acts. before i knew it, he's already at the other end, and the cars are already zooming by. why? because i was looking behind me to look for him. it happened a lot of times.
i waited in McDo for about an hour. 7 pm. he came by past 8. got lost going to the venue by 9.30. watched for 15 minutes. left. he called up his mom for extension of dorm's curfew. ice monster. bread talk. got lost. left me at makati. taxi. home by 11.20. i wanted to cry. but i gotta show i'm brave. at least now i'm proud to say i didn't cry over him dat day. it's done. it's finished.
he absolutely didn't care, doesn't care. if i'm not going to be in his priorities, then wer am i gonna be? can he just refuse so as not to let us both get hurt & suffer?..it's worse than refusing my invitation right on if he's not happy doing it for me.
i just wanted someone to be with me that day. i thought he'd like some time-out from his acads. i never thought that even while's he's with me, he's mind off to somewhere else, somewhere i could never be.
although i think i could have been better off i just invited another friend, i still think it is for the both of us. the experience i had with him that night is a revelation of his true motives for me, of what he really felt for me: nothing. i'm nobody for him. just nikki, who was always there if ever he needed someone to talk to.
now it's never going to happen darling. i'm still here for you. but there are limits or self-control i must impose upon myself to avoid expecting too much, and getting hurt in the process. if termination of our connection/communication is necessary for me to accomplish that goal, then yes darling, i'll have no qualms on doing it right on.
at least the bench fever's HOT.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
undefinable.
Later in life, you'll learn the subtle difference between holding a hand, & chaining a soul. You'll learn that love doesn't mean learning, & company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises. You learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. after awhile, you'll learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden, & decorate your own soull, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You'll learn that you can endure, that you're strong, & you have worth.
(by the world's most famous author: Anonymous)
(by the world's most famous author: Anonymous)
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