Mr. X

So what about Mr. X?

You probably know this already - our relationship was over years ago; it just took me a really long time to move on. Now I keep on thinking how much better you are for me, or you just really are a much better person anyway.

When Mr. X and I were together, we were so immature and competitive (a sign of immaturity) on who's smarter, more experienced, and who lives a more exciting life. With you, I don't have to pretend or assert superiority. Well, I rarely pretend but then I have to keep up just to show him I'm at par with him. It was stressful, and although we did try to make it work - it wouldn't. We were in pari delicto, and there was lack of enthusiasm (or passion) on either side to make room for the other. We were simply too young, too inexperienced. But I don't regret it, and neither does he (i hope so), because we learned. It's a process we had to undergo, and even though we found we were simply not for each other- the time we spent together and tried to care for the other - taught us something that we will carry on in our future relationships, and wishing that someday when the right one comes, we're ready.

So the years spent aren't exactly a waste of time, effort, and everything else that goes into a relationship. Because in that process I learned to look for and discover new things; I learned to be more patient (than i was before; still working on it); I started developing my own personality and character and sticking to it no matter what other people say; and in the end, I learned how to understand and adjust to the personality & temperaments of another person.

In the process of being more exciting than him (competitiveness kicking in), I had to look for ways to enliven my life. On a shallow note, I learned about computers and cars from him. :) I need to learn those things to be able to converse with him. So see? Not really a waste of time. And I'd like to think he learned some new things from me too.

I'm thinking that if I know a lot of things that interests a wide variety of people and it makes me able to converse with them, maybe in that way, I'll meet the right one for me.

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Now I wish you'd think of lunch or something. I'd love to see you tomorrow. :)