Mixed thoughts

We pride in being busy,
in being preoccupied most of the time,
even if aimlessly.
It's not because we're hoping it'll lead to something greater,
but because by doing so,
we FEEL important,
that's why.

Looking as if we can't be bothered,
that we don't have time for other people.
As if we are so much more important than others.
This is stupid.
I'm not busy, and I won't deny it.

I should go back to the musuem of fine arts when free,
and if there are exhibits.
Maybe on weekdays, not weekends;
there are tons of tourists on weekends.
I prefer less people; it's quieter.

I was already thinking about it-
not coming here.
But I feel at home here, somehow.
Still depressed, but less;
no longer suicidal.

Still it is depressing to know,
that I'm here all alone,
in this small lonely apartment of mine.
Yes, I like and love my apartment,
but it gets lonely living alone,
somehow.

I try to remember - some people have it worse than me
I'm quite selfish,
with only me to take care of.

I wish I have someone with me.
Someone to share life with.
Cheezy? Yes, but I don't care what you think.
Lord, I would like to thank you for that person.