too attached, too soon

Regarding the decent bathroom in the first guesthouse:

Him: Nikki's happy.
Me (looking at him): You're happy.
Him: See, it doesn't take a lot for us to be happy.

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I'm happy for the past few days. I love the way you touch me. I love the way you hold me. i should have trained before. My intimacy skills are zero. and really, i want you. I hope you'd be patient, I hope you'd understand. Not that I don't want you, coz I really do. It's just that I don't know how to show you.

I remember last monday night - we hugged for the first time. your left arm was around my waist, and your head resting on my neck. it felt like heaven. not that i know what heaven feels like. but it was nothing like i've ever felt before.

Tuesday night - that slight tug on my waist as i went away. i was saying goodnight and you wouldn't let me go that easy.

2 days without YOU is already driving me crazy - can't do anything, can't sleep, don't even want to start Reading the books, and my concentration is totally out of control! I want you here, NOW! stupid rain.

I just want to finish everything I need to do so I can be with you as soon as I can.

2 days is torture! Why did I even tell you we won't see each other for the rest of the week?

Tue - I told Lyn and Rj about you. I was asking for advice. I want to make this work.
Wed - I told Anh and Jed for FYI only, and Auntie Gie for advice.

And my Mom knows. For some weird reason, she seems supportive!

You

You - Caucasian, at least 6 ft tall, with a goatee and a tattoo. You - are 16 years older than me.

And really, why don't you just come over? I told you last night I don't want to bother you today, and I can't just take it back! I want you here with me, NOW.

Will I last one day without you? Why don't you even call? I miss you. And no, no "L" word for now. But yes, I love the way you hold me. I love the way you hold my hand, I love the way you put your arms around my waist. I love it when we just hug and cuddle together.

First time for me.

Cheesy. I'm getting really cheesy (and touchy!) these days. :)

Mantra: More memories with you. You are here with me now.

Yes, I'd say Yes

We just went out today! Wasn't exactly the perfect date I (or he) imagined, but it was great just being with him or being together.

Lunch
Movie - Eclipse
Chatting in my room

Why am i deliriously happy? :)

Then FB with a batchmate - long one. About her relationship problems - so similar to my pseudo-relationship a long time ago. I enumerated all the things that happened between me and the guy, and how i moved on. She said it was so totally the same - she was the one always initiating, the guy just responds when it suited him, and she'd make excuses for him to herself when he does something disappointing.

I'm really glad i was over that one. Took me years. I learned and realized more when i talked to my friend. And it helped I'm quite happy right now.

The competition was a great distraction. It helped me in a lot more ways than I originally imagined. :)

memories

Another prayer: You are here with me now.

One week, and it really takes a lot of effort to let go, move on, and put all the memories in one little box (or FB).

I see us together - traveling, having fun, living life. :)

Soulmate

The first time I met you, I sensed a connection between us. You were so fun-loving and easy-going. I was attracted; deeply,deeply attracted.

Second time we met, it was awesome how easily we understood each other and we were of the same "wavelength". We love traveling, we don't worry much (at least when I'm with you, I don't), we have the same interests, and we don't BS.

Despite the generation gap, we read the same books, movies, and hobbies. We have similar talents and skills.

We don't have to impress each other, we don't have to impress other people, we don't have to pretend. It was just me and you, and nothing else. I wasn't tensed, except when riding with you. But then, I just want to hold on to you tighter, closer. And I know you want me to.

I knew everything's going to be fine at the very least, and great most of the time.

You're sweet, charming, and a very good person. I hope we meet again.

Mantra: I am sweet, charming, attractive; and you won't be able to resist me. We will travel, and live life together forever.

For you, I can give forever. :)

midlife crisis

I realized I don't like you anymore; you became more controlling of me - my thoughts, decisions, and actions. You told me you abhor manipulative men, and yet you are one of them. You studied behavioral sciences - how come you don't know that nagging and reverse psychology don't work on highly intellectual people?

There is no way you can control me, or tie me down. Simply no way, darling. I'm outta here on September.

You and your friend keep on making passes at me. Don't know if you're both playing with me. But I will refuse to concede. I can play this game. And I'd be leaving 2 broken hearts on September. And I thought men trained in the military have hearts made of steel.

Jack: Steve, Rick: Sam. And Sam and I haven't even met. Poor guys being dissed by their so-called friends. Crappy little bikes? What's with Porches and middle-aged men? Midlife crisis.