confused.

now u hate me...

i really don't know what it is you want., do u want me ever-present, voluntary in my part.., or just there when you want me?,,yea i suppose you want just when u want me, or need me..'me' is actually a very aggressive word. i think you only want someone as a companion, someone to talk to; regardless of whoever that person is. easiest one: me.

so depressing.

i don't like this non-committal type of relationship. it's so all over i couldn't draw the lines between the OKs & nO-nOs..

now here i am again, after that one-time effort on your part, i'm doing all the work again. y does it have to be like this? such a stupid one-way relationship with me being always the driver? & you as the passenger.., a backseat passenger.

but at least you can have the decency to tell me what you feel. if you don't want me, then tell me & it's fine. I'll be sad & all, but that's the best way.

sometimes you're sweet..the whole lot of time you act just like any other friend. are you going to keep me hanging like this forever? when i'm on the verge of letting you go, you suddenly appear, & your presence just pulls me back together again. after all those months of trying to forget you, of making you disappear., & in an instant you got me back again.

such a fickle-minded person.

and i think you act like that to all the other girls you've met, or are somewhat interested in. we're all hanging; ready on your beck & call. we aren't dogs, or pets for that matter. you play your cards well. i think i'm ready to play that game. i thought i was, 3 years ago..but i ended up with my heart shattered, glued, and shattered again. cycle repeated a thousand times. haven't i learned my lesson?..yes, if you ask me, my brain will answer with perfect explanation & analysis of why i should give you up. but my heart wouldn't listen, wouldn't it? substance over form.

now i'm ready. play with fire. -pyro.-