You probably wouldn't understand, wouldn't understand why I was tired of you, of us, of myself when I'm with you, and it's my fault, honestly. I did not communicate well with you. I did not try. I got tired, lazy, let it go so often, lost myself, became annoyed at myself, and now blaming you.
I am sorry for everything. I gave all of myself to you, which was so wrong. I thought that's how relationships should be - giving, sacrificing. I gave all of me to you which I was not able to do with my first relationship. I thought that will make you stay, and want me, and not leave me. I thought it will make our relationship better, last a lot longer than the first one I had.
I was wrong. I should have been myself and not pretended to be anyone else. You often complained I was not that open to you, like it seemed that I was not comfortable with you. I really was not comfortable with you, and I'm sorry.
I wish I had the courage to break up with you earlier, or take things slow, or be myself more so we could decide if we are really compatible. I am sorry it reached this point, that I have to back down on our engagement.
I was afraid. I was afraid I'd be making a mistake, that I will not find a kind, generous man like you who will love til death, I was afraid to be alone and face other people who will ask why. I was afraid I didn't do enough, that every time I miss you means I love you and I should get back to you. I was afraid to face the consequences and the entire healing process after a break-up.
I have nothing else to say. I cared for you, I care for you, and I am sorry. You did nothing wrong, and that's the worst part. I have no reasonable explanation to myself and to other people, why I decided to be single again.
I am sorry for everything. You deserve so much better, someone more honest with her feelings.
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