I met you again at the wedding. I am 20 pounds heavier now, and you gained maybe just 10 pounds. I felt so giddy, so excited to see you again. I gave you a music box, one that reminded you (us) of Singapore. I thought you wouldn't remember, but you did. You said - like the one in Singapore?
I didn't reply. That gift is for chatting with me the entire time in college, Vietnam, and Canada (except when I had boyfriends because I try to make them my priority and my new bestfriends but it didn't work out. apparently, friendships takes years). You were always there for me especially when I needed you the most. I tried to forget you, you know. Because I know it will be hard for you to break up with your long time girlfriend, so there is almost zero chances of us being together.
The boys were all over me. They came to me, and kissed me on the cheek, really made me welcome. Their girlfriends, however, are not really my friends. Just hi, and nothing else. At 3 pm, I had to leave, and said goodbye to the groom and gave him a music box too.M---- made an effort to say goodbye. It was too fast. I wasn't able to say goodbye to you, to P--- and to our other friends. I should have taken a few minutes to kiss you all goodbye, to thank everyone for all the good times and memories in college, because I don't know when I will see you all again. For several days before the event, I was already imagining how I'd be, what I will say, what I will do when I see you all. But I was not able to do all of those at the wedding.
Anyway, I had a great time talking to the person who drove me to the wedding. There was no dull moment, and it was so easy discussing everything with him/ Because we already know each other somehow, so it was just flowing. The entire time we were at the church, he kept discussing with me how he wants his own wedding to be - no hassle, less traditions, more socials, less expenses. We pretty much agreed on everything - except for the dining tables. He wanted cocktail tables and no sit down except for senior citizens. I wanted a relaxed vibe but with tables. No church wedding, cutting all expenses in half. It's so strange but it feels nice and familiar, but I guess this is how friends are. It's nice to be with friends, and people that think similarly. I wish it was at least like that with my ex.
Have to sleep now. I have a few regrets. I should have been more lively, but I was better now than before. I was more at ease, more comfortable with people, and I think I actually looked better and enjoyed myself better than most of them. They're still so conscious with themselves.
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