There were two children who met at the church- a little boy and a little girl. They started playing around and was running after each other.
At one instance, probably the last game they had, the little girl was the one running after the boy. She's probably it. And then, the little boy went back to his parents and was busy with another activity again, forgetting about the game and the little girl.
The girl kept waiting. When she realized that her playmate wouldn't join her again, she just smiled sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed that she had been waiting for nothing. Then she went back to her parents, probably wishing nobody saw what happened.
My relationship with you darling, has been like that. Thing is, seems like i've always been it. Looks like it's not a fair game. But it was my fault, wasn't it? You expressed your resignment. I should have accepted it. I should have stopped...waiting.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Progress
was it a year ago? a few days before your brthday that i said goodbye?
it's nearly a year past..and i'm still stuck with the goodbyes.
it's been a year yes. and i haven't kept my word. i tried darling. i did.
yesterday i made a bet with my sister, just so that now i have to keep my promise. i should have nothing to do with you starting that day- yesterday, july 22, 2007, a sunday.
i made an improvement darling! you should be proud of me. i managed to delete your number and your folder of messages in my mobile phone. so now you're off in my phone. Next will be the YM messages, which will really take some time since darling, your folder in my message archive contains a year-worth of messages. i have to take care of it some other time. but i deleted you off my YM list already.
just so you would understand (not that you care anyway), I'm not doing this to spite you. I'm doing this for me and for both of us. You don't like me bothering you all the time. So i have to do something. I deleted you off my phone and my YM list so that I won't see your name on them, and so I will not be tempted to bother you.
and you're not online (or just invisble) these days anyway. hiding from me? no need darling. cause i'll resist every urge to contact you - with the bet and my resolution, I intend to keep my word.
promises are said to be meant to be broken. i did it a lot of times. now God, please help me keep my promise. I'm hurting now but it's better than to prolong the agony, the illusion.
it's nearly a year past..and i'm still stuck with the goodbyes.
it's been a year yes. and i haven't kept my word. i tried darling. i did.
yesterday i made a bet with my sister, just so that now i have to keep my promise. i should have nothing to do with you starting that day- yesterday, july 22, 2007, a sunday.
i made an improvement darling! you should be proud of me. i managed to delete your number and your folder of messages in my mobile phone. so now you're off in my phone. Next will be the YM messages, which will really take some time since darling, your folder in my message archive contains a year-worth of messages. i have to take care of it some other time. but i deleted you off my YM list already.
just so you would understand (not that you care anyway), I'm not doing this to spite you. I'm doing this for me and for both of us. You don't like me bothering you all the time. So i have to do something. I deleted you off my phone and my YM list so that I won't see your name on them, and so I will not be tempted to bother you.
and you're not online (or just invisble) these days anyway. hiding from me? no need darling. cause i'll resist every urge to contact you - with the bet and my resolution, I intend to keep my word.
promises are said to be meant to be broken. i did it a lot of times. now God, please help me keep my promise. I'm hurting now but it's better than to prolong the agony, the illusion.
Forwarded Messages:
12/30/2006 2:34:46pm: Arcadio
Math tells us the three saddest love stories:
The tangents who met once but parted forever.
The parallel lines who never really met, and never will.
And the asymptotes who are getting closer and closer but were not meant together.
1/17/2007 9:51:41pm: Jane
Kung meron ang math, meron din ang physics.
Physics demonstrates the three biggest ironies of love:
1. There are those with forces of attraction so great, but will never be together because a stronger force separates them.
2. There are those in uniform circular motion: infinite attraction, no interaction.
3. And there are those so similar, like two magnets with similar poles, the closer they get, the stronger the repelling force.
1/9/2007 8:33:39 pm: Ash
Para sa mga bitter:
“Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. Just so he can see and feel how much love hurts…advance happy valentines!”
1/1/2007 11:55:36pm: Jane
“Love someone whom you don’t have to be fancy or talk in a special way, you don’t have to mind your manners or wear your best clothes and shoes, you don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re feeling sad..Love someone you can cry on, you can laugh out loud with, you can speak your mind or say nothing at all, you don’t have to try hard to impress him/her..Go with someone whom you can just be you and appreciates you for that..”
[meaning I don’t have to, but want to is okay?]
11/28/2006 10:38:04pm: Jane
People say they love flowers,
Yet they pluck them.
They say they love trees,
But still cut them.
Now I know why some are afraid
When told that they are loved…
4/2/2007 11:32:12pm: Jane
In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is having someone who can look at you straight in the eyes, and tell you he/she loves you; someone worth every risk of pain, someone who’ll stay, someone who will simply make a difference.
12/28/2006 9:57:07am: Ash
The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born…until you fall in love.
12/17/2006 10:02:56pm: Arcadio
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.- Anais Nin
11/18/2006 10:56:06pm: Jane
“2 letters”
Dear Diary,
I saw him passing my way. I didn’t know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he’s the star of the basketball team; he’ll never notice a geek like me.
Dear Diary,
I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I’m just a guy who could shoot some hoops, while she’s the pretty honor student. She’ll never like a guy like me.
7/22/2007 10:29:04pm: Jane
“The worst pain in life is when someone you know turns into someone you knew.”
1/20/2007 10:51:06 am: Minnette
Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line:
“Miss, lam mo ba..Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop..At hindi tayo halaman..BAGAY tayo! BAGAY!”
1/7/2007 8:49:31pm: Raisa
Quotes from the world’s greatest warriors:
I came. I saw. I conquered.- Julius Caesar
I shall return.- Douglas McArthur
I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initaym. – Pacman
7/23/2007 1:27:30pm: Rose Ann
It’s nice to recall our mistakes in the past
Joke about real life punch lines
And laugh about our dumb old selves
Cause remembering how stupid we were
Makes us realize
How less stupid we are now.
Math tells us the three saddest love stories:
The tangents who met once but parted forever.
The parallel lines who never really met, and never will.
And the asymptotes who are getting closer and closer but were not meant together.
1/17/2007 9:51:41pm: Jane
Kung meron ang math, meron din ang physics.
Physics demonstrates the three biggest ironies of love:
1. There are those with forces of attraction so great, but will never be together because a stronger force separates them.
2. There are those in uniform circular motion: infinite attraction, no interaction.
3. And there are those so similar, like two magnets with similar poles, the closer they get, the stronger the repelling force.
1/9/2007 8:33:39 pm: Ash
Para sa mga bitter:
“Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. Just so he can see and feel how much love hurts…advance happy valentines!”
1/1/2007 11:55:36pm: Jane
“Love someone whom you don’t have to be fancy or talk in a special way, you don’t have to mind your manners or wear your best clothes and shoes, you don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re feeling sad..Love someone you can cry on, you can laugh out loud with, you can speak your mind or say nothing at all, you don’t have to try hard to impress him/her..Go with someone whom you can just be you and appreciates you for that..”
[meaning I don’t have to, but want to is okay?]
11/28/2006 10:38:04pm: Jane
People say they love flowers,
Yet they pluck them.
They say they love trees,
But still cut them.
Now I know why some are afraid
When told that they are loved…
4/2/2007 11:32:12pm: Jane
In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is having someone who can look at you straight in the eyes, and tell you he/she loves you; someone worth every risk of pain, someone who’ll stay, someone who will simply make a difference.
12/28/2006 9:57:07am: Ash
The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born…until you fall in love.
12/17/2006 10:02:56pm: Arcadio
We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.- Anais Nin
11/18/2006 10:56:06pm: Jane
“2 letters”
Dear Diary,
I saw him passing my way. I didn’t know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he’s the star of the basketball team; he’ll never notice a geek like me.
Dear Diary,
I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I’m just a guy who could shoot some hoops, while she’s the pretty honor student. She’ll never like a guy like me.
7/22/2007 10:29:04pm: Jane
“The worst pain in life is when someone you know turns into someone you knew.”
1/20/2007 10:51:06 am: Minnette
Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line:
“Miss, lam mo ba..Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop..At hindi tayo halaman..BAGAY tayo! BAGAY!”
1/7/2007 8:49:31pm: Raisa
Quotes from the world’s greatest warriors:
I came. I saw. I conquered.- Julius Caesar
I shall return.- Douglas McArthur
I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initaym. – Pacman
7/23/2007 1:27:30pm: Rose Ann
It’s nice to recall our mistakes in the past
Joke about real life punch lines
And laugh about our dumb old selves
Cause remembering how stupid we were
Makes us realize
How less stupid we are now.
Friday, July 20, 2007
ba 143
and i still can't help myself...
haha. forget you darling?
i saw my old crush in school. he was a classmate way back in first year. he suddenly looked so attractive to me. haha. i mean, of course he was quite good-looking then, but now! my gosh, sex appeal!
he was looking at me. i think he recognized me. but then i was in a sort of a hurry, i looked so frazzled and i remembered that i forgot to put on some perfume (not that i smell bad), so i was so embarrassed that i just rushed past him and pretended to be busy. i couldn't even look and smile at him.
but next time, if ever we're gonna meet again, i'll take my chance - look, smile, and say hello. if he recognizes me, then we'll probably talk. if not, then who's gonna use a pick-up line darling? haha.
but i still miss you.
haha. forget you darling?
i saw my old crush in school. he was a classmate way back in first year. he suddenly looked so attractive to me. haha. i mean, of course he was quite good-looking then, but now! my gosh, sex appeal!
he was looking at me. i think he recognized me. but then i was in a sort of a hurry, i looked so frazzled and i remembered that i forgot to put on some perfume (not that i smell bad), so i was so embarrassed that i just rushed past him and pretended to be busy. i couldn't even look and smile at him.
but next time, if ever we're gonna meet again, i'll take my chance - look, smile, and say hello. if he recognizes me, then we'll probably talk. if not, then who's gonna use a pick-up line darling? haha.
but i still miss you.
Monday, July 16, 2007
reality
i did something stupid. and ugly. and embarassing. and i hate it.
but i did something else which is wonderful and fulfilling.
i did everything darling. i did everything i can even if there's nothing to save in the first place.
i suppose i should be happy now. that i was given the opportunity to do everything. i took the risk, see? even if it didn't turned out what i hoped for...what happened was different.
i didn't expect something incredible to happen, though i hoped for it. what happened was nice enough for me to wish for a second time around.
i was always giving and expecting nothing in return. but i wished and hoped, and i prayed, that someday you will do something for me. but darling, throughout the years, you never even bothered to give me something. sometimes you were there when i asked you to. but that's always it - i ask for it, and sometimes you give in. it's like you're forced to do it. it's like you do it in return for whatever you received from me. that's what i feel. that's what i think you feel about it.
and you don't even know my birthday. i appreciate everything you did for me; but sometimes the yearnings of a romantic shows itself - the roses & chocolates, the sweet nothings, the spark, the magic, and the feeling that you love and are loved in return.
and it's obvious in your part that there is nothing to believe in. i should quit fooling myself that the things you do for me are special. cause i think they are ordinary things you do to your friends. i can't stop thinking how i managed to be in a delusion for such a long time when i'm hurting all the time.
it's over. it should be.
cause you are real darling; and i should stick to reality.
but i did something else which is wonderful and fulfilling.
i did everything darling. i did everything i can even if there's nothing to save in the first place.
i suppose i should be happy now. that i was given the opportunity to do everything. i took the risk, see? even if it didn't turned out what i hoped for...what happened was different.
i didn't expect something incredible to happen, though i hoped for it. what happened was nice enough for me to wish for a second time around.
i was always giving and expecting nothing in return. but i wished and hoped, and i prayed, that someday you will do something for me. but darling, throughout the years, you never even bothered to give me something. sometimes you were there when i asked you to. but that's always it - i ask for it, and sometimes you give in. it's like you're forced to do it. it's like you do it in return for whatever you received from me. that's what i feel. that's what i think you feel about it.
and you don't even know my birthday. i appreciate everything you did for me; but sometimes the yearnings of a romantic shows itself - the roses & chocolates, the sweet nothings, the spark, the magic, and the feeling that you love and are loved in return.
and it's obvious in your part that there is nothing to believe in. i should quit fooling myself that the things you do for me are special. cause i think they are ordinary things you do to your friends. i can't stop thinking how i managed to be in a delusion for such a long time when i'm hurting all the time.
it's over. it should be.
cause you are real darling; and i should stick to reality.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
sudden realization
now i know why i'm always tensed and nervous when we meet.
'cause darling, for such a long time, we communicated thru phone/PC. we got to know each other using these means of communication. in the absence of personal interaction, i somehow managed to conjure up illusions of you. the sole basis of course were the conversations we had, and the few times we met.
and then, i didn't know how to react - when someone i believed so far away is suddenly infront of me. how can i face my illusions? i imagined a person out of you. i made a dream person out of our conversations.
the premise for our conversations i believed at first, is that i can easily open up to you because we are never going to meet. see? as much as i want to meet you again and again, there is a lot of difference in talking with a person thru phone/PC compared to being with you personally.
i cannot imagine that someone i dreamed for so long, someone i illusioned, someone i made up out of my own wishful thinking, will face me. i can't stand the fact that someone i opened up to -my feelings, my secrets, my thoughts - will face me one day.
and the embarrassment! how am i supposed to confront you?
my dreams, my fears, my illusions - they have to fade away. somehow i managed to hold on to them for such a long time and disconnecting myself to them is like giving up a big part of me.
but it's time for me to move on. move on to reality. you cannot remain in my thoughts as is.
you are real.
'cause darling, for such a long time, we communicated thru phone/PC. we got to know each other using these means of communication. in the absence of personal interaction, i somehow managed to conjure up illusions of you. the sole basis of course were the conversations we had, and the few times we met.
and then, i didn't know how to react - when someone i believed so far away is suddenly infront of me. how can i face my illusions? i imagined a person out of you. i made a dream person out of our conversations.
the premise for our conversations i believed at first, is that i can easily open up to you because we are never going to meet. see? as much as i want to meet you again and again, there is a lot of difference in talking with a person thru phone/PC compared to being with you personally.
i cannot imagine that someone i dreamed for so long, someone i illusioned, someone i made up out of my own wishful thinking, will face me. i can't stand the fact that someone i opened up to -my feelings, my secrets, my thoughts - will face me one day.
and the embarrassment! how am i supposed to confront you?
my dreams, my fears, my illusions - they have to fade away. somehow i managed to hold on to them for such a long time and disconnecting myself to them is like giving up a big part of me.
but it's time for me to move on. move on to reality. you cannot remain in my thoughts as is.
you are real.
Monday, July 02, 2007
i waited & waited, and then u left
maybe you're wondering why i wanted to go out again...
haha darling, the reason is not exactly because i want to see you again. main reason is that i want to redeem myself.
you're not giving me any opportunity to make up for that night. i wanted to show you the best side of me. it's so embarrassing for me that everytime we meet or see each other, i'm always in the worst form possible - my appearance, mood, what i'm doing at that particular moment, etc.
i don't know if men can understand this sort of feeling - the frustration to be able to impress yourself on the person you want so much, but end up rather disgusted with yourself.
this is a very embarrassing, and stupid situation.
i don't think you're wondering why i kept asking you if you were free last weekend. you're smart enough to guess that i wanted to go out again. i waited, and waited, and then you left. i wanted to makeup for that night.
but then again, sensing that you don't want to, i have to back down.
aggressiveness will lead to nowhere. you know me well i think. you can take hints.
but i'm confused by your actions. i don't know what to expect or what to do.
nothing i suppose.
haha darling, the reason is not exactly because i want to see you again. main reason is that i want to redeem myself.
you're not giving me any opportunity to make up for that night. i wanted to show you the best side of me. it's so embarrassing for me that everytime we meet or see each other, i'm always in the worst form possible - my appearance, mood, what i'm doing at that particular moment, etc.
i don't know if men can understand this sort of feeling - the frustration to be able to impress yourself on the person you want so much, but end up rather disgusted with yourself.
this is a very embarrassing, and stupid situation.
i don't think you're wondering why i kept asking you if you were free last weekend. you're smart enough to guess that i wanted to go out again. i waited, and waited, and then you left. i wanted to makeup for that night.
but then again, sensing that you don't want to, i have to back down.
aggressiveness will lead to nowhere. you know me well i think. you can take hints.
but i'm confused by your actions. i don't know what to expect or what to do.
nothing i suppose.
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