money and more money! :)

I never learned how to budget my money back in high school and college. I loved going out, and was always in shopping malls, restaurants and bars all the time.

Now, you'd be proud to know that I'm learning. I'm broke again, for the fourth month in a row. Not really broke, 'cause I'm not negative. I just don't have any cash left. I have enough to pay for the basic expenses until I get my salary on Wednesday.

I smile, and I hope that money will come my way today. Thank you Lord for keeping me alive just to hope.

I don't want to use my credit cards to get a cash advance. I don't think I have enough money to go to a bank anyway.

I don't know what to do. Money's always in my mind. And I really have to learn how to manage my finances. July and August should be fun. I paid all my fixed costs this month, and I just want to have fun.

Back in college, I always had this feeling of having tons of money in the bank. Just a false thought, but I never worried and kept on spending. And of course my bank account sufferred.

But now, i'm learning how to live on so little money. I hope it's healthier, and better for me. I tend to stay home a lot too, since I have no money to spend. But hey, now I just spend most of the time thinking and contemplating about life. I'm more peaceful, I can sense my emotions as I get more anxious and stiff, and try to relax. I'm learning to relax, let go, and forgive myself of the mistakes.

And it happens again and again - I regret spending too much during the early days. It never evens out.

Let me have fun next month. 'Cause I can't wait!

Let's pretend: I have a million dollars in my bank account!

I have a million dollars in cash right now! :)